The Sense Of Love

Chapter 9

Andrew walked into his house smiling. His father is asleep on the couch, the scent of women's perfume is stilled in the air.
He knows his dad would never approve of his new partner in life. So, he's just going to stay quiet and never bring Jake to his house. To protect everyone.

He went to his room, and thought. Jake is his first boyfriend. First partner ever. He doesn't want to screw it up.
He knows he has a lot of personal issues when it comes to being loveable. He has trouble communicating his emotions and just in general. But, his biggest fear, eye contact. It's impossible for him to look at someone for longer than 10 seconds. But, since he knows Jake isn't looking back in the sense of seeing him, he has gotten better.

But, his biggest problem.
Micheal. From the book store.
He can't stop thinking about him.  He never got to say goodbye, and he was Andrews first real crush. Even though it was obviously not going to happen, a boy can dream. He knows that he should just forget about Micheal. But...its hard to forget the first person who let you truly be yourself. The first person who smiled when you entered the room. The first person who hugged you tightly when you'd leave.
Andrew knows he loves Jake. Jake knows Andrew loves him.
But, you can't escape your own head. And you can't control your thoughts.

Andrew went downstairs, his dad was gone. No note. No goodbye. He was just gone.
Andrews used to his dad leaving. But, what could it hurt to say bye to your child? Even leave a note to let them know where you went. But, Andrew was immune to the constant absence of his father. Even when the family was still together, he was never around. Always at bars and strip clubs. Getting into fights, coming home with lipstick stains and the mixed smell of alcohol and perfume.
But now that he's stuck with his dad, it's somehow more annoying. He's left to clean up after his drunk father, and gets hit if he doesn't do it right.
Sometimes he thinks his dad is hiding something. Hiding something, even from himself. Hiding it in the lost minds of the strippers and prostitutes he brings home. But, who is to blame them. That's their job, to satisfy creepy old men like Andrews father. He even feels sorry for them. Why, of all the other possible attractive men, would they choose him? Maybe it's his 'sweet charm' and nonexistent money.
But, what is it to Andrew anymore. He has someone else to think of. Jake. His Jake. The Jake.

That's all that was on his mind when he fell asleep that night. Jake. His pale eyes and dark hair. The bandage that remained on his nose. The soft dimples placed perfectly in the center of both cheeks. His soft voice that could carry your mind to wonderful places. His gentle hands that carefully held Andrews whenever they were together.

And, his sense of love.