Counting Stones

Chapter 2

TW: SH (S*LF H*RM)

All I could think about was that encounter with Katrina. All night my thoughts flooded with her face and how when she frowned she did it so naturally. How her hair curved up and flew in her face when the wind blew. How when I saw her I was so focused on her I didn't even notice the wind blowing.
When I thought about her it felt like my heart sped up and I could feel my sweat glands open. It felt exhausting thinking about someone this much, but every thought I had traced back to her..

I hate it. I hate not being able to produce a thought without thinking of Katrina. I want to be normal. I want to sleep without thinking of her, without seeing her through my dreams. But now when I'm looking back at it I think that I needed this.

-

A few hours after I woke up, showered, and ate, my friends came over for the first time in a while. I made snacks and we played video games and finally Nova said
Hey Gwen?
What? I responded.
Is something on your mind? She sounded worried.
No, why? I lied straight through my teeth.
Gwen. She said in a warning tone.
No really I'm fine Nova. I even smiled wider.
After that they went home... I don't know why they're so worried about me... I don't think they should because I'm pretty fine other than the fact my parents force me to a therapist every Thursday.
I looked at my clean slick arms. They look like rubber I thought. They look too fake.. Am I fake? Am I rubber? I get up and walk to the bathroom and slice my thumb open, it starts to bleed. So I'm not fake. I'm alive and everything is good. I'm happy.
I put medicine and a bandaid on the cut and go back to homework. The doctor told me about the thoughts I was having about Katrina. "Invasive Thoughts" is what she called them, and I hated that word 'invasive.' Every time I'd see the therapist she would ask about my thoughts and I didn't wanna tell her but she's supposed to help me so I did. I closed and packed up all my homework and went upstairs and napped.

-

Yeet ig
-Lays
9/28/18