After The War

The Oldsters

Now
Jeremy

We were walking.

Tyler and one one of the older boys in front, kids in the middle, me and Lily in the back, each of us carrying a little girl, watching over the other kids, so no one would get lost on the way.
Everyone was chatting and laughing, every single one of them so happy to have finally escaped that camp, the pure joy was almost hard to watch.

"I mean wouldn't it be better if you were walking in front?", Lily asked me now.

"I know", I said. Of course, it would have been easier to reach the oldsters if I had led the way but I felt a lot more at ease here at the back, where I had everything under control and could see everyone. I didn't trust kids. They were unpredictable.

Tyler and the other boy, whose name I couldn't remember no matter how hard I tried, were happily talking and they seemed to have a great time. Good for them.
Lily had tried to start a conversation with me several times now but I had always shut her down. I knew that it wasn't quite fair but in my defence I really didn't feel like talking.

I shouldn't have given in to Kyla's will so easily. After all, this whole escapade was her fault.

"So", Lily started again. She was extremely stubborn and I had no idea how I could get rid of her. When would she understand that I just didn't want to talk?
"I mean we've known each other for quite some time now", Lily said.

"Two days, actually", I answered, positioning the little girl on my back so that she wouldn't fall off.

"Yes, and I practically know nothing about you", she continued.

"There isn't much to know about me", I countered absent-mindedly. "After that tree line walk a little bit more to the right. There's a steep hillside there and I don't want anyone falling down", I called towards the two boys in the front, who gave me an ok sign back.

I could see from the corner of my eye that Lily was about to protest and try to get information out of me, but I was glad she kept silent. It wasn't even like I was holding anything back intentionally. There just wasn't anything special about me. I didn't have things that defined me like Kyla with her scarf, iPod and crappy attitude. I was just a small footnote in her presence, but that was ok. Kyla was ... Kyla, and I, well, I was just Jeremy.

I really didn't know what else I even could tell Lily.

"Can we please talk about anything else, then?", she asked, sounding a little mopey. "I hate silence."

"Well, I like silence", I told her. "See, now you know me better." I gave her a grin.

"Ok, fine", she countered. "But it's not silent anyway. The kids are making noise enough for the both of us!"

"Exactly! So why would we need to talk then?"

Lily scowled at me. "You're infuriating, I hope you know that", she groaned.

"Oh, infuriating what a clever word", I shot back with another grin. Ok, maybe talking wasn't as bad as I had expected.

Lily blushed and I looked at her taken aback a little. It had been a long time since I had made a girl blush.

"Are you two married?", the little girl on my back asked loudly, right next to my ear and the grin on my face died just as Lily's started to grow. How did that kid even learn about marriage? Nobody got married anymore, weddings were an old social construct that had died with everything else during the war. I only knew about it because my grandmother had repeatedly told me about hers. I still could see her, sitting across from me, telling me how she had run through the bombed streets in a ripped wedding dress, searching for our grandfather who long had been buried beneath the ruins.