"Again!" Max yells. I stop and skate back to my starting point. I let out a heavy sigh and stand there thinking. I've nailed almost all of my routine that I planned, but there is only one thing that is missing. One thing I just can't bring myself to do. The one thing that should be enough to astound the judges and convince them to let me skate in the male championships.
"But I can't do it," I say out loud. I stand there and look down at my hands and feet. My vision starts to become blurry, as tears make their way down my face. "I-i just can't do it..." I sit on the ground and start to cry. I haven't felt like this in a very long time. The feeling of defeat creeps its way back to me, making me feel useless.
It's so hard to realize that just one thing could set me back. It's so hard to comprehend. I feel so weak. I've been practicing for a solid week to do it. I've practiced it and I can easily do it when I'm on the ground. But on the ice, that's a different story. If I can't learn it while skating, then I don't know what else I can do. I can't think of anything else to impress the judges. It's so stressful. My whole career is lying on this routine.
Max runs over to me when he sees me fall to the ground. He sits down next to me and looks right at me. "F/N, what's wrong?" He asks me. I shake my head and continue to look down at the ground, my mind wondering elsewhere. He repeats himself, this time a little more sternly. I look up at him and stay silent. I don't want my coach to know how much this part of the routine is weighing so heavily on me. He wouldn't understand. I get up, continuing not to say anything. "F/N, what's wrong?" Max asks me again.
"Nothing," I say. "Absolutely nothing. Now can I please try it again?" I skate a metre away from Max so he gets the message that I don't feel like talking about it.
"Ok, but after this session we are having a big talk and you are going to tell me what's bothering you," Max says as he goes back to the side of the rink. I let out a sigh in relief as he stops pressuring me. That's the last thing I need right now.
I take a deep breath and focus on my routine. I decide to leave the part out, until I can do it with a lot of practice. I'm going to have to practice it standing on the ice at first, then eventually moving. It's going to take ages but thankfully, I have the time. I continue to practice the routine I have almost perfected for another hour.
"Come on F/N, lets go back to the apartment. You need sleep," Max says, packing up all the equipment and everything I needed. I join and help him pack up the rest of my gear.
We both stand outside, waiting for a taxi that Max booked. The air around us is awkward. So awkward and none of us are deciding to break the silence. I grab my phone and earphones and choose to listen to some F/B. I love listening to music. It always helps calm me down. I listen to music until the taxi arrives.
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*Time skip to apartment*
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We both walk into the apartment and put our gear on the floor. I rush to my room to grab some clothes so I can make it to the shower quickly. I walk into the bathroom and shut the door behind me, making sure it's locked. I just want to make sure that Max can't bother me for now. Turning around, I walk to the mirror and look at myself. I take a deep breath and close my eyes for a second to calm myself. I open my eyes again and put my clean clothes next to the basin. I undress myself and make my way to the shower, turning it on.
Once the water is warm enough, I step in. The warm water makes its way down my skin, refreshing myself. I feel so lazy right now. I just want to stand here and do nothing. I don't want to hop out; I don't want to confront Max. I just want to be left alone. I wash and shave my body and turn the shower off when I'm done. Grabbing the towel on the rack, I dry myself and step out of the shower.
I look in the mirror again and realise I forgot to do something. I forgot to take my makeup off in the shower. I deadset look like a raccoon. I sigh and wipe off my makeup, getting changed as well. I brush my H/L H/C hair and put it up into a pony tail. Once again, I look into the mirror, preparing myself for my talk with Max. I don't want to tell him how I feel. Max will get angry at me or be disappointed. That's the last thing I want him to do. I don't want Max to hate or to even judge me, because he's literally all I've got... He's the only one who's ever been there for me...
My dad left my Mum and I when I was a baby. He never explained to us or even told Mum he was leaving. He just packed up his things one day and left, and I haven't seen him since. I lived with my mum until I was five and I met the most important person of my life when I was three. I met Max when I was three; my coach, but also my best friend. Later on at the age of five, the worst thing in my life happened. One that only Max and I know about. My mother was killed, the day before I turned 5... She was in a car accident. From that point on I lived with Max. He helped me deal with all my anxiety growing up. He was always there for me when I needed him. But whenever I felt like I couldn't achieve something, or if I'd given up, he wouldn't be too happy about that. So I'd never tell him when I felt like that. But tonight, I can't avoid it.
I walk to the door and take one last deep breath. I open the door and approach Max.
YOU ARE READING
His Skating Queen (Yuri(o) Plisetsky x reader)
FanfictionYour name is F/N L/N. You are the greatest female ice skater in the world without a doubt. People think you are naturally good at ice skating. They don't know that you have trained your whole life for this. They don't know how much passion you have...
