Not Young Anymore(Ness x Lucas)

Behind a Mask

Ness's Pov

It's been 1 month since I've talked ro Lucas. Since then it feels like I've been living behind a mask. Unable to tell my feelings, I just pretend. I pretend I'm happy, I pretend I'm fine, I even pretend I love Paula. It's really all a lie though. But I guess no one cares. And since no one cares. I've taught myself not to care either. It hurts...to numb and cold. 

I walked to the park and sat on the nearest bench. I looked up at the sky. Wondering what Lucas was doing right now. I really miss him. He was one of the few people who understood me and cared about my feelings. I couldn't help but to laugh. Thinking about him made me so happy. What can I say...I loved him.

Then a feeling of guilt washed over me. He probably hates me now. I wouldn't blame him. I hate myself for ignoring him. I frowned while thinking about it. 

"Ness!". I looked up at Paula with a smile. She smiled back. "What are you going to be for halloween?" she asked. I bit my lip. I haven't really thought about halloween or any holiday for that matter. To think it was only 2 weeks away from halloween. Wow I really need to get with the program! I thought.

"Well? I'm waiting." 

I looked up at her.

"Probably a zombie or Ken Kaneki."

She stared at me with wonder 

"Who's that?"

"A character from Tokyo Ghoul."((I'm going to be honest I've never watched the anime before. I swear I'll get into it))

"Ohh".

She looked at the sky. I looked at it with her. "Do you love me?" she asked with worry in her voice. I looked at her, wishing I could say no. Instead I put on my fake smile and said,"Of course." She smiled. 

I looked at the floor. Water dropped on the sement. I stared blankly before I looked up at the sky. Dark clouds surrounded the sun till eventually you couldn't see it. I got up and put my hood over my head. Paula got up with me and said, "Just when I thought it would be the perfect day to hang out with you.". I smiled and said, "Maybe next time.".

 I ran to the bus stop, hoping my phone wasn't wet. I sat down and brought out my phone. I texted my mom that I was coming home now. I quickly put it away and watched the rain fall. I heard footsteps in the distance. I looked to the side to see who it was. Just when I thought things couldn't get worse. 

Lucas stopped in his tracks and stared at me with disbelief. Our eyes met. I don't know why but I got...nervous. 

He blushed while looking down at the floor, slowly walking towards the bus stop. I looked away, hoping that would make this situation better. He stopped next to the sign and turned forward. We silently watched the rain fall. Great! This couldn't be anymore awkward. 

He fidgeted with his umbrella, tightening his grip on the handle. I started to whistle a little tone  my mocrying m taught me. This really couldn't get any more awkward.  

I don't know why but, walked towards Lucas. He looked at me blankly. "I-Is there s-something-". I cut him off by hugging him. He dropped his umbrella and stared wide eyed at me. 

"I'm so sorry Lucas," my voice began to quiver," I'm so so so sorry. I should've never EVER ignored you. To be honest I missed you so much. Your the only one who understands me.". At this point I was on the verge of crying. 

Lucas pushed me off of him.I stared at him blankly. He looked at me with a blazing rage. My heart dropped and my stomach got butterflies. He was mad at me.

Lucas's Pov

I stared at Ness with rage. That jerk thinks he can just piss me off then FUCK WITH MY HEAD!!! I THINK NOT!

I grabbed Ness by his jacket. "Listen," I said quietly,"I not going to let you fuck with my head anymore. First you ignore me, then you get with Paula, and then you say I'm sorry?! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!".

Our eyes meet. An inch of sympathy flashed into my eyes. He looked so numb and depressed. NO! He's using guilt on you!

I pushed him away, trying not to show how weak I felt right now. He merely looked to the side and held a fist. "I-I'm s-sorry Ness...I-" He cut me off.

"No. I get it."

"Ness I-"

"NO."

I flinched at his sudden change of tone. He looked at me with mixed emotions in his eyes.

"I get it. This is what I get. I never should've listened to my mom!"

"What do y-you m-mean?"

"SHE TOLD ME IT WAS EITHER YOU OR ONETT!"

"...oh"

"I SHOULD'VE NEVER EVER IGNORED YOU!"

"W-Why?"

"CAUSE IT'S NOT WORTH OUR FUCKING FRIENDSHIP!"

My eyes grew wide. He was crying. "Dammit," he mumbled. He turned around and ran away. "Ness wait!" I screamed. I went to run after him but, something or someone grabbed me. I turned to see who it was.  

"Paula?". She smiled a very devious smile. "Hey, Lucas!"

((LOL CLIFF HANGERS.))