romance at the bookstore

Chapter 7

Alex's POV - Wednesday morning

I couldn't help but be really excited to give Leila the book. I wanted to see her face light up with happiness, as it so rarely does at work. She always tries to keep it professional and serious at work because she's a very responsible person but I'm sure I could show her how to have fun. I wanted to hang out with her all the time but I wasn't sure she felt the same way.

I mean, we've always been enemies. When we first met, I thought she was really hot an I tried to get to know her but things went bad, quickly. I was trying to make an effort but she's just so annoying about everything. She has a pathological need for everything to be perfect.

Now, I was felt I could be in a serious relationship again. And this time it was going to be different. I had had plenty of meaningless hookups through high school and University and only one serious relationship and that did not end well. I knew I had to hold back from going all in because that's what happened last year. Once I open up to someone, I can get really attached because I never really had that love and support growing up.

I knew that things were going to be a little awkward after yesterday but I was ready to move past our history. I think that under the pressure of work and school we haven't really been able to get to know each other.

I had her venti iced caramel macchiato in one hand and the book in the other. I walked down the sidewalk with a goofy grin on my face all the way to work. When I got to the bookstore, she was leaning on the desk and talking to a little boy. As soon as she looked up at me I panicked and started blushing. I quickly walked in and went up to her before I lost the nerve.

The little boy finished talking to her, he walked away then she looked right into my eyes. I froze and all I could do was extend my arms towards her, handing her the coffee and the book. She glanced at the coffee and the book then backs up at me, confused.

The only words I could utter was: "I got this."

She smiles and nodded, still very perplexed but trying to be polite. I felt my hands start to get sweaty, the coffee almost slipping out of my hands.

I continued, "it's for you."

She took them from my hand and smiles, "Thanks, Alex."

"Look I'm sorry about yesterday," I started, "I wanted to make it up to you and I got you this book because I noticed that you were looking at it earlier this week."

She gave me an uncomfortable smile and tucked her hair behind her ear. I noticed that she did that when she was nervous. When under a lot of pressure of stress, she plays with her hair so when she's feeling confident, it's always in a pony-tail or in a bun.

I got the cue that the conversation wasn't going to continue so I turned away from her to walk away then realized I wanted more than that. I turned back around and before I chickened out, I stammered: "Do you uh, want to grab a coffee or something after this shift, I mean later, after work, yeah?"

She shrugged, "Um sure?"

"Okay, I'll see you then. I mean, I'll see you now because we work together but keep-," I stopped myself, "as you were."

I quickly walked away then slapped myself in the face for that embarrassment.

I don't know what's happening to me. This doesn't normally happen but there's something about her. Her confidence, her beauty.

The rest of the day, I stayed out of her way to avoid another argument and just left things as they were. I was really ready to get out of this slump of anger and hatred that was ruining my life.

In high school, I was in a very serious relationship. Her name was Aliya. We dated all through high school and I was convinced she was the love of my life. I spent every spare moment being with her and I didn't do anything unless it was for our future. In hindsight, it was pretty stupid of me to give up my life for her but I would've if she asked me. Then halfway through senior year, Aliya got pregnant. I wanted her to keep it. I was so set on being a father that I couldn't see anything clearly anymore. I became so in love with our child that it overwhelmed me and I wasn't ready for that much responsibility.

My dad told me that I wasn't ready to raise a child and that I couldn't have the company if I stayed with Aliya. He went behind my back to talk to her and offered to either pay for an abortion or pay for my child's life if she would leave town and never come back. I eventually found out and confronted my dad. I told him that I loved Aliya and I was going to raise her baby so my dad told me to get out and that I wasn't welcome in his house anymore.

Aliya and I moved in together and I helped her through the last six months of her pregnancy. We bought an apartment, I got a job, we graduated then had our baby boy on August 27th. He was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. 4 days later he died in her arms. Something about his heart and him being a preemie. The next couple of months are all a blur but Aliya broke up with me because I reminded her too much of our baby. I hadn't applied to any colleges because I thought I'd be taking care of the baby. So, I lived off some money I had left and became depressed. I lived alone for a year and barely ate, slept or did anything. I never even got one call from my dad. Finally, an old buddy of mine, James, helped me get my life back together. I applied to NYU, got some counselling and here I am.

I was on a path from a top high school, to Harvard, then to my dad's company but I got derailed and I fell into depression for 2 years. Now that I was finally past that, I wanted to get going on all the things I wasn't able to do when I wasn't in the right state of mind.