romance at the bookstore

Chapter 15

Leila's POV

I'm speechless. This is incredible, Alex recreated the exact tower that he knocked down such a long time ago, with a coffee on the top.

"Alex I-"

"No don't say anything just let me say something first. Leila, I'm so so sorry, what happened the other night was totally unacceptable and incredibly rude and mean of me. I let my assumptions get the better of me and just automatically assumed the worst and I know that you would never do that kind of thing, so again I'm so so sorry."

The whole time I just stood there with my mouth open, staring like an idiot. I could see the hurt and the guilt in his eyes. He stood there like a sad puppy, waiting for an answer. I don't know what to say, this is the most sincere apology I've ever received and he obviously regrets what happened. I just don't know how to answer that. 

"Leila?" Alex asks, breaking me out of my trance. He looks almost on the verge of tears, begging for forgiveness. I become extremely aware of all the people standing around and quickly try to think of an acceptable reply.

"Ughh... ummm... I accept your apology," I stutter, "do you think we could continue this conversation somewhere more private?" 

Alex looks around the store at the people watching us, "Oh yeah for sure, let's go to the back."
Alex and I walk to the back, Louis just watches us go and doesn't say anything. Usually, he would have gotten mad and made us continue to focus on work but he obviously understands that this is something that we need to fix. 

"Leila I'm so-" Alex starts but I cut him off. He looks disappointed in a way but I can tell he's processing a lot right now. 

"No Alex it's my turn to speak," I take a deep breath and start. 

"What you did and what you said to me was incredibly rude and it hurt me more than you know, also getting drunk and calling me a slut was so immature there were many different ways to deal with that situation, like for example maybe actually talking to me about what you saw." Alex has his head down, he looks embarrassed and he should be. He was playing with his hands the way he does when he's upset and it hurts me that we are going through this. 

"I can tell by your actions that you feel genuinely bad for what you did and that your apology was sincere and I accept your apology but that doesn't make what you did okay, do you understand what I mean?"

He lifts his head before he answers "Yes of course I understand, I'm so sorry." 

"Stop apologizing, I understand that you're sorry," I try to smile but nothing could lighten the situation. 

He looks at me for a minute waiting for me to continue but I don't have anything else to say.
"So... what are we then?" he finally asks.

We look at each other for a minute while I think of an answer. 

"Well here's the thing, I love you Alex but I need some time to think before we can go back to normal okay, so can we just take a break?" 

Alex has tears in his eyes but looks generally relieved. He takes a deep breath, blinks a few times and wipes his face with his hands. 

"Ya, of course, we can, whatever you need, and I love you too Leila" 

I don't say anything more, I just walk towards him and open my arms. He walks into the hug, rests his head on mine and I put my arms around his waist. It's comforting to be in this kind of position with him again but I know that I do need to think about things for a while by myself.
I let go first and give Alex a half smile and walk back out to the front of the store, I hope things aren't too awkward between us for this next little while. 

Wow, that's the first time I said I loved him.

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Xo,

Shae and Ella