Echoes from Anna

Chapter 4

Edward's POV

I sat in the armchair by the window and watched as he set up the IV, its intention was to hydrate her after the high temperatures she had endured. Bella said it helped her recover quicker, so we always had it ready to administer as soon as it was safe to do so. Right now, it was all we could do.

"How long did it last?" Carlisle asked as he began checking Bella's vitals.

"Seven hours" I replied, leaning my elbows into my knees and burying my face into my open palms.
Seven whole hours. It was to long.

Seven hours of chaos and torment moving through her with out mercy. I don't know how she got through this over and over again without going mad. I could still hear her screams in my head, hear her pleading with me to stay with her. I could still feel her burning in my arms as the cold water washed over us. These memories would forever be apart of me now, there was no way to bury the feeling of helplessness and fear that had built while witnessing that torture.

"Were going to figure this out Edward" Carlisle said, as I nodded into my open palms.

I had to agree, there was no giving up and no chance I would stop trying, but it looked so hopeless.

Anna never gave me any idea of what I was supposed to do.

She had visions of Bella happy and healthy, but I had to wonder now, if they were they just good days that she had caught glimpses of, were they just fleeting moments that she saw when I had made her laugh. Maybe Anna had just seen Bella happy and it had made it look like everything was ok. I had seen this. Even this morning when she was on the couch with me, laughing and smiling. She looked fine, she looked happy, before it was all taken away. But even these thoughts were something Anna had warned me about. I couldn't give up.

"Have you thought more about the other option" Carlisle questioned as he jotted something down in his notebook.

"It's all I think about" I said quietly, dragging my face from my palms to look at him.

"Have you talked to Bella about it?" Carlisle asked carefully, knowing that it was a touchy subject.

I shook my head in response.

No, I hadn't asked her is she wanted me to kill her.

If she wanted me to turn her into a monster.

In truth, I wanted to do both those things. I wanted to soak her blood in my venom, not to kill her, but to kill what ever it was inside of her. This thing that was putting her through all of this pain, deserved to die. I felt like I was fighting a demon, one that I wanted dead. But it lived inside of the only thing I had ever loved.

I shook my head as the question formed itself in Carlisle's mind.

"Maybe you should-"
"I don't want to ask her yet." I said quickly cutting him off. "Not until were sure that It will help. It could just hurt her more....and then I would have to-" I stopped as the painful thought entered my mind.
"We'll keep researching " he said nodding his head, knowing my plausible concerns.

I kept my gaze locked on her as he moved from her side and over to mine.
"Call me if you need me son" he added, placing his hand on my should as he passed, lightly squeezing it, before he left the me alone with her.

Carlisle never lingered long, it was always a short visit. I could feel the urgency radiating off him. He was always in a hurry to leave, so he could go back to researching and tracking down other vampires who may have seen this before.
I often wondered, if it was only because he wanted to help Bella - if that was why his focus on this was so relentless. Or was it in part, because he feared my reaction to loosing her. My own mind couldn't grasp what I would do if I failed to save her, but I feared his could imagine what such a loss would do to me.