Echoes from Anna

Chapter 6

Edward POV

"I can't leave her"

The words were spoken through a rough gasp. She had said the words as though she were admitting to a horrible crime. As though she were confessing to something unthinkable.
And as much as I tried, I just couldn't comprehend what those words had meant to her and why she looked so horrified that she had even said them to me.

This was Bella's fear and it had been deep-rooted as long as I had known her. It was the shattering feeling that she would be abandoned and now it seemed that I could add something else to that - The fear of abandoning. The fear that she would leave her sister.

Anna was gone. But yet here she lay on the ground, scattered through belongings, photographs and books. I could smell her into the room all around us. There had always been a trace of her in the air and I knew there were things of Anna's in those boxes. But now that those belongings had been spilled on to the ground, the aroma of Anna fill the room, just as much as I could identify the scent of Bella in it.

They were similar fragrances, though one was bolder and one was sweeter. It was easy to know which belonged to each of the Swan sisters.

I held her against my chest, our legs tangled awkwardly and my chin resting on her shoulder. I kept my mouth to her ear telling her to breathe, telling her to copy the rise and fall of my own chest as it rose into her back. I wanted her to focus on something else, something other then this devastation in front of her. But it seemed that there was no real way to distract Bella from what remained of Anna, especially when it was staring her right in the face.

This was why the boxes never left the room. This was why they had been piled up in here since her arrival. She couldn't put them in another room because it was as if she was pushing what was left of her sister away. And Bella couldn't have that. But she also couldn't unpack them and have Anna staring her in the face each day. She had been doing fine knowing it was all there, but not having to face any of it. I hadn't questioned it. Though I can see now that I should have.

The photo's were everywhere, there were more then should have existed in their short life times and I had a good feeling that I was only seeing a small portion of what existed.

The photo's that I could see, were mostly recent. I guessed they didn't range back further then a few years and most of them were taken at the beach, Bella's favourite place.

I started to realise I had been chasing ghosts with Bella and I didn't even know I was doing it. It hit me then that there was so much I didn't know, and that there was so much more I wanted to know about the girl in my arms.

I could feel her breathing starting to even out slowly, but she still felt rigid and tense in my arms. I could still feel a slight vibration running through her, much more then she usually had. But even so, she was starting to calm down slightly and I wanted to help her to the finish line.

I tilted my head to the side, craning my neck to get a better look at her. Her eyes were fixed straight ahead, just as they had been. But they no longer looked vacant and lost, now they were focused on a particular photo that was lying apart from the others, lying at our feet within reach.

It seemed like it was that photo that was helping Bella calm down, that her focusing on it was soothing her.

I kept one arm wrapped around her, leaving one hand on her hip to rub the soft skin back and forth, hoping to comfort her. The other hand slowly and steadily moved out to reach for the photo. I kept my eyes on her face as I picked the photo up. It didn't seem to make her any more anxious then she already was, so I decided to continue bring it towards us.