Music enhances the soul, link to this chapters main song above. 😌
Insecure: adjective; (of a person) not confident or assured; uncertain and anxious.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A year had passed... then, another three...
Years without Erik Stevens was torture. The first year was the hardest of course. I had dropped him off at the airport that last day not being able to contain the tears that fell all the way there. He held me at the security checkpoint as I sobbed into his fresh, new uniform. He still insisted that I not wait for him, even after growing closer over his remaining time in the US. They were sending him to Iraq...
God of all places, why did it have to be Iraq? I knew women who were married to men in the military and they constantly hoped that they'd never be sent, there. They called it widows land, for reasons to obvious for my already terrified heart.
He sent four letters in the first two years, after that I hadn't heard from him again. No contact whatsoever. I feared the worst of course. My Erik was dead. I could only hope that they honored his wish for a cremation, he wanted to be placed in the Pacific ocean... his favorite place.
Emotionally, I was still waiting for Erik to return. To walk through the doors of my new home in Georgia and tell me to go back home with him. I knew that was just a silly dream though.
Physically however, I was with Victor... my new boyfriend. We met shortly after Erik's letters had stopped. He was incredibly kind and patient, helping me try to cope with the loss of Erik. Victor wanted and was willing to give what Erik didn't, a stable relationship.
After much convincing, I agreed to move to Georgia with him. Georgia was a beautiful state, but California was were all my memories with Erik were. It was heartbreaking to leave it behind.
London and Chris were now married with twin boys, much to Chris' dismay. My poor godsons gave that man hell, but I knew he loved them with every fiber of his being. London was born to be a mother, she took every problem with stride and looked damn good doing it too. The perfect image of a strong, black mother. She was devastated that I was leaving Cali, but she knew it was best for me. Her bad feelings for Erik only grew worse after his leaving, but it was understandable. Her best friend had become a shell of the person she once was all because of that man.
She loved Victor though. Said that he gave her a little bit of her "spark" back. As much as Victor did make me happy, Erik was always in the back of my mind.
The sound of the breaking news on television brought me back into reality. I put down the carrots I was cutting in preparation for dinner before grabbing the remote and turning up the volume.
"Reports are saying that an explosion at an international meeting for world leaders has left many dead, including the king of Wakanda, King T'Chaka. Please stay tuned for more information."
"What a sick world we live in", I mumble to myself before continuing to cut the carrots.
"What's sick?" Victor asks as he walks into the living room wearing only a pair of basketball shorts. I'd be lying if I said he wasn't fine. Beautiful brown skin, a fresh fade and a gorgeous smile. Victor was a provider. Anything I wanted or needed, he was willing to get. He worked at one of the top law firms here in Savannah, but he always made time to come home and spend time with me.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
(Y'all know I had to put my other baby daddy in this story too. 😜🤪)
"A terrorist attack at an international leaders meeting. I'm so tired of seeing all the violence Vic." I breathe out heavily putting the carrots into a pot on the stove.
I could hear his heavy footsteps come up behind me and gently put his hands on my shoulders kneading them gently, releasing some tension from them.
"There are just evil people in this world baby, you and I know that." Kissing my neck slightly, I temporarily forget my frustration and focus on his soft lips.
I can tell he knows that I'm enjoying the feeling because he starts to become rougher, hands now on my breasts and kisses becoming bites. I close my eyes from the sensation and instantly regret it. There was Erik's face as soon as I closed them. I cautiously removed Victors hands and move slightly away, trying not to reveal that I had been thinking about another man.
I turn to face him before putting my hands on both sides of his face, "I'm sorry baby, I'm just really tired and the news just upset me, that's all."
Grabbing my wrist, he kisses my palm and the back of my hand before pulling me into his chest. There was a sense of comfort in his arms, but nothing compared to Erik's.
"It's alright love, I just know you were stressed. I wanted to help remove some of that tension, you don't deserve that hurt."
Victor knew about the insecurities I had gained from Erik leaving and he tried his best to ease them as much as he could. He was such a good man and that only made me feel worse thinking about Erik in times like this. He showed me so much love that it would take two lifetimes to repay him for it. He helped bring me out of my funk when Erik stopped responding. He was literally an angel in disguise.
I stood on my tip toes to give him a soft kiss on his full lips. Why couldn't I have fallen in love with him instead? Everything would have been so much simpler, so much happier. As good of a man as Victor was, I knew my heart only belonged to Erik.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm looking for my own Victor, man! 😩😩😩 Y'all got some fine brothers or something?!? Comment, vote and thank you for reading!
