The Tokyo Hotel

A/N

Hi! It's an authors note. Great. Sorry for that. It's actually a pretty random one, but I just randomly felt the need to talk about a certain topic. Not really because I need attention or anything, just... Tell someone about it yk.

Soooo what I wanted to talk about, is HSP. I'm High Sensitive. I have been my whole life. For those of you who don't know what that is, HSP stands for High Sensitive person/people.

High sensitivity kinda explains itself, I have stronger sense I guess. I hear more, feel more, smell more all that stuff and of course feel more emotions and all that. But that's not always a good thing...

Allow me to explain, there is a little something called overstimulation. That's when it all gets too much. Noises are suddenly too loud, lights too bright, you feel cold or agitated. I also feel like my heart beats too fast. When I get overstimulated I usually feel like a baby: I wanna cry and sleep. Most of the times I'm on the verge of breaking when a week of school ends, wich usually means I tend to isolate myself a little in the weekends.

Problem is that it's happening more frequently, I sometimes feel like this while I'm in class for an example and even had a breakdown in the school cafetaria before. Wich sucks bc I do a terrible job at controlling it and it's embarassing.

The school doesn't know I'm high sensitive, I don't feel like they need to know either unless it gives me problematic grades or something. I also don't think many people even know what it is, or at least believe it.

One of my friends also said that "maybe you just saw it somewhere in a tv show and unconsciously convinced yourself of all of this. It's all in your head". For everyone who may think this way: I did a test with ticking off what situations apply to me. Normally if your results are 14 or above, you're high sensitive. You know how much I got? 25!

So in short lately I've been crying a lot of stupid reasons or no reasons and being angry with myself for being different I guess. I'm a bit of an emotional wreck, fragile af. School, hobbies etc take a lot of my energy and it feels like I'm a candle slowly burning out. I'll get trough it, I've dealt with my own shit before, when vacation comes I'll be able to recharge myself.

There, that has been said now. Hopefully everyone understands. Don't go saying in the comments that I need attention, if I did I would've told this a long time ago trust me, I've been aware of my high sensitivity litterally my whole life and I have it proven by a doctor soooo.

If you actually read all of this; wow, thanks.

Okay that will be all. Thank you for your time. 💞

-Manon