Charlie's Lucky Charm

7: Locked up Tight

As we start to walk onto the ship, Frank comments while looking around "goddamn, this ship is the tits!"

"Frank, Frank, watch your language. You know? This is a Christian cruise." Mac quickly spits towards him.

Dennis tells his friend "yeah, and I got to say, winning raffles, going on cruises-- I like this new church of yours, Mac. I think you found the right one."

"Yeah." Dee and Charlie utter on.

Mac replies "oh, I didn't find them. They found me."

"Ahh" I make a sound as if I'm interested in what he's saying.

He goes on "and it's all, of course, a part of God's plan. It's also a part of God's plan that we all get closer to him through fellowship."

Charlie asks "hey, Mac, is God gonna be able to protect against the ship sinking?"

I look to Charlie with bewilderment, wondering why the hell he'd say such a thing. Mac just answers "God protects all things, Charlie. He is an awesome God."

"The only way this ship is gonna sink is if the captain's drunk." Frank tells us all.

"Guys, we don't have to worry about drunk captains, 'cause this is the dry cruise, remember?" Mac reminds us.

Dennis replies "yeah. Yeah, I do. And about that, um, where exactly does God stand on that dry thing? Is that a hard, fast rule or is there some wiggle room?"

"Look, this cruise is an opportunity for us to get away from the sins of everyday life." Mac tries to encourage us.

Frank tells us "that being said, we will each have to have a half a cap of mouthwash every day. You know, just to stave off the shakes."

Charlie likes his plan "smart, smart. Don't want to get sick."

"Yeah." Dee agrees

I argue "no, not happening."

"Okay, guys, I am gonna head up to Bible study right now." Mac says to us as we reach the door to head inside to our room.

Dennis comments "oh. Oh, right now. Uh, this is our suite."

"Wait, suite?" I question "thought we had three rooms."

"Yeah, yeah. You guys can check in or whatever. But the... Do you want to meet me there?" Mac doesn't even answer my question. I don't even know why I would ask.

All of us then mutter to him, trying to get out of going to his bible study. He eventually just smiles and nods and tells us "peace be with you."

"All right." Dennis fake smiles.

"Okay. Yeah, yeah." Dee replies.

"Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh... You're supposed to say, "And also with you."" Mac Explains to us.

"Why is that?" Frank questions.

"I'm not going to say that" I say at the same time.

Dennis utters "would you say... I'm not gonna say that."

Dee replies "uh, you know what, I'll say it, if it's gonna help you get out of here and go to your Bible study. But I'm not gonna mean it."

Mac smiles "Oh, you don't have to mean it. Yeah, you just have to say it."

"Okay. And also with you. Bye." Dee smiles with wide eyes, ready for Mac to walk away.

Mac smiles, so happy someone said it back and he happily says to us "guys, this is gonna be the best cruise ever." He does a few hand gestures, waiting for someone to say it again. When no one does he says it again "and also with you."

"Yeah. I'm not saying it." Dennis promises to him.

"Take care." I wave to Mac and open the door to our suite.

"I'm not saying that shit either!" I hear Frank say as well as I walk in and out of hearing view.

After a few minutes of everyone besides me chugging down beer they decide to head out onto the deck. I agree to go with Dee and Dennis to the pool, ready to get some sun. Dee has made it a point to say how she wants to get away from everyone else but I don't care, totally able to tune out whatever shenanigans they all come up with and actually enjoy myself. Dennis and I find three chairs next to one another but Dee refuses to sit with us. We take out spots and I apply some sunscreen, enjoying the movement of the moving shipping and the sun against my face. Eventually, Dee grunts her way over to us, not getting a seat elsewhere and bickering about it the entire time she lays next to us. Luckily for me, a bird literally shits on he and she rushes off to go shower, leaving Dennis and I to sunbathe in peace.

After sun bathing for a few hours, I head to the suite and find it empty. I quickly take a shower, knowing I need to shower before the rest of them come back and bombard the room. Just as I finish getting dressed, Mac storms into the room and screams out "where is everyone, I have news!"

"What is it?" I ask him.

He insists "no, I need everyone. Let's go!" He pulls me by my hand and I quickly throw the towel off my head and onto the floor as he drags me out of the room. It takes a while but Mac eventually opens a door down some creepy hallway and we see all of our friends inside. He pulls me in and shuts the door behind us "Well... I'm gay." He comments, letting go of my arm.

"yeah. No shit" Charlie and Dennis reply at the same time.

Mac asks "oh, you guys knew this already?"

"That you were gay?" Dennis questions.

Mac nods and I say "from the day we met."

"Yes, for forever now." Charlie says at the same time.

Dennis replies "yeah, man., yeah. Always."

"Whoa, really? But what's going on? Did you just get tossed in here?" Dee questions, moving on from the gay thing to something else "or, like, why are you in here?"

"Oh, no, I just walked in on my own. I got Bev and had to tell you all my news."

"What?! You let the door close behind you?!" Dennis yells loudly.

Mac argues in his own defense "I couldn't find you guys. I wanted to hang out. I had something important to tell you."

"What is it?" Frank demands, clearly pissed off.

I ask "wait, we're locked in here?"

No one answers me and instead Mac goes on "there is no God."

"Well, what?!" Charlie asks.

"What is happening right now?" I scream out, going to the strong door to try and get out.

Dennis questions "why, where are you getting this from?"

"Yeah, why--" Frank asks.

Mac interrupts, explaining "I was like--" He sighs then goes on "okay. If there was a God, there's no way that he would make me queer, right?"

"I can't, I can't listen to this anymore." Dee returns flatly, coming over to try and help me get the door open "I got to get out of here. I can't be around you." She bangs on the door and yells "I've got to get out of here! Got to get out of here!" She's clearly distressed and annoyed like I've never seen her before.

Frank pushes "what are you squawking about?"

"Let me out of here!" She pleads through the solid door.

Mac goes on "honestly, what's the point anyway? There's no meaning to any of it. There's no God, there's no heaven, there's no hell."

"Wrong!" Dee catches that and yells "oh, I just wanted a couple of days. Just a couple of days away from you guys. But I can't escape you! You know where hell is, Mac? You know where hell is? It's right here. It's right now. We are in hell!" She yells at the top of her lungs "oh, Jesus."

Suddenly there's a loud horn blaring and when it eventually stops the boat shakes and we all shutter along with the boat, not sure what the hell just happened "what the shit was that?" Charlie asks, and we all stare at one another.