Brooklyn Lights

Chapter 12

Hey guys! This is going to be a really, really short chapter! It's basically just the little carry on from the last chapter as I have so much I want to do for the next few chapters! Sorry guys! I love you all! Hope I haven't pissed you all off :)<3x

***Emily's P.O.V***

"And who the fuck was that you dirty whore?" My breath hitches as soon as I can hear the words being spat out of Chris's lips. I honestly think that my heart just stopped beating. My blood circulation has been restricted and in more than 10 seconds, I'm going to drop dead on the floor. Either way, I'm going to die. I can't help but fear, and secretly know that Chris is definitely going to kill me. It's bad enough saying just a 3 lettered word badly to him and getting a few punches and maybe the odd kick. But, being seen with a boy who then hugs me? That is my ultimate death wish and I have just taken full plunge for it.  

"W...what are you...on about?" I swallow the new amount of saliva in my mouth. I'm awful, when everyone else gets nervous, they feel sick, feel faint or anything like that. When I get nervous my mouth just decides to fill with saliva like it has been fucking raining. I don't know why the hell I'm acting dumb. Yes, it will worsen the situation and yes I'm just lying to both myself and him. But truthfully? In my head it's just easier to pretend that nothings happening, nothing happened. My brain is screaming at me just to plead with him but my mouth just doesn't want to follow my instructions. 

"Oh don't act fucking dumb with me. I saw you with my own two fucking eyes you stupid, stupid bitch!" Chris, lunges forward and pushes me into the draws in the living room. I hate this, I hate this Chris. His temper and violence is bad enough usually and I can just about barely take that. But when his anger is mixed with intoxication? Everyone withing 50 miles of him is fucked. You will be torn to shreds. 

The thing is, at the start when he was just becoming angry, I could help keep it under control. I could help him manage it, help him to stop seeing red and to see black. And surprisingly, it worked. But now? It's getting worse and to be quite honest, I'm frightened for my life. 

He's a dangerous man. I mean, from what I say you would think he is a drunken alcoholic who is about 40 or 50 years old. Nope, he is a 17 year old boy who is continuously drunk if it's just me and him. You see, now do you understand why I like it when we are with people? We can actually be a normal couple. Happy, loved up, just the normal couple you would see down the streets. The types of couples who hug in the parks, kiss every now and then, stare into each others eyes. The type of couples who can see the lust in each others eyes. 

But now? What can I see in Chris's eyes? The burning fire of alcohol and weed. 

"Chris! Chris please! Stop it! Leave me alone." I'm fed up of this now, I know that my voice is breaking and I'm shaking uncontrollably but I know that if this carries on, my mum will get a phone call telling her that her daughter is dead. 

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO FUCKING DO! YOU'VE MADE IT CLEAR YOU DON'T WANT ME ANYMORE, AND YOUR GOING TO PAY." Moving quickly towards me, everything turns into a blur. A stinging sensation has taken over my cheeks as my tears spill down my face. I know that he is beating the living day lights out of me. But I have no fight in me any more, and even if I did, if I fought back it would only make this situation worse. I might as well let him finish, it is my only option. 

"You don't love me Emily. Your a whore and always have been. I can't even get anything out of you anymore, You know, there is plenty of other girls in college that want me. I could get any of them and yet I come back to you everyday. I deserve better then you useless piece of trash. Your disgusting. You make me feel sick at just the sight of you, your fat, ugly and your never have anyone in this world who will love you." 

Each words hits me like a ton of bricks. I can't...I can't take this in. Is this seriously how he feels about me? This is his true emotions for me? 

""You know what, I'm getting out of this house right now. Fuck you, fuck this, fuck everything. Your a disgusting slut. Go sleep with your new fucking boyfriend because you know what? I'm going around to Annabelle's house. I know I can get some out of her and you know what? She is fucking better then you. A horse would be better then you. Bye." 

Slamming the door behind him, I just sit and freeze. I get abuse like this from him everyday but today of all days has been worse. In a way, a huge weight has lifted off my shoulders that he has left me here. He's gone and I actually feel...okay to breath. I can do what I want, but even after everything he has done to me I still love him with every inch of what I have. 

In any ones right mind I should resent him, wish death upon him, say things like 'Thank god, I'm free' and 'If I never see him again it would be too soon.' I can't. At the end of the day, he is my first real love, my first time. He is still a massive part of me and I can't ever forget that. 

Dragging myself up off the floor, I sink down onto the sofa. The silence is killing me. Out of nowhere, I let out a huge sob and I just can't control the tears that are streaming down my face. 

I need someone. I need anyone, I need a cuddle, I need to be told that everything will work out and everything will be okay. However, I can't tell no one whats been happening behind closed doors. Not even Dee, I know what she is like and all she would do is continuously worry and fuss. I don't need that, you know? I just need someone to cry on, stay with. And that is no one. All I can do right now is do it for myself, be here for myself. And that's what I plan to do.