Brooklyn Lights

Chapter 25: Nemesism

Quote...

Nemesism(n) frustration, anger or aggression directed inwards, to oneself and ones way of living.

***Dynasty's P.O.V***
I can't believe that I have blown off Zayn like that. I could of put the text in a nicer way, less blunt but it wouldn't of changed anything. It still would of happened and I'd still be feeling like I am now.

I wish I wouldn't let this get to me, let me get back to the point I was. However, it's starting again and I'm scared... I don't know how far it will go this time.

Zayn hasn't texted me or contacted me since yesterday. Not like I blame him, I sure as hell wouldn't let him off the hook for it but I just wish he'd text me, call me, do whatever.

He'd be here for me right now, I know he would. Zayn's problem is he cares about what other people think to much, he wants to have his bad boy image but I know that deep down, he's a mushy idiot. He takes care of everyone, puts everyone before himself and I love that. I love him, but something like this I can't tell him. His reaction could destroy us so I'd rather keep it too myself.

I keep contemplating whether I should call him but I'm not sure. He might not want to speak to me right now? I'll just leave it. There's no point in stirring it all up again.

"Honey? Can you come down here please. We need to talk."

I gulp at the sound of my moms voice. I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to go through it all again. I just want to forge about it as much as I possibly can.

"Uh no I can't. I'm in a rush. Got to meet Emily..."

It is true though, I want to go see Emily. I haven't spoken to her in a couple of days so I want to know what's been going on with her and Liam. Might as well help her out right? It'll help me forget...

Grabbing my bag, I take a deep breath and open my door. I don't want to see her but I might as well buck up the courage to, I can't avoid her forever.

Speak to her. Tell her how you truly feel. Run. Go.

My heart stops. No again, no. Stop. Get out of my head!

Taking a deep breath, I take slow steps down the stairs as I head past the kitchen.

"Honey. We're all hurting, you can't avoid us forever. I know what it can do to you."

I scoff at her, I just want to leave.

"You know nothing."

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Emily doesn't even know I'm coming so I hope she is in. I will drag her back home otherwise, right now I could just do with one of her 'emtastic chocolattas' please do not question the name, we made it up when we was 11... It's stupid I know but their famous in my books. I swear she is the best at making hot chocolates.

Her cars in the drive... she should be home then...

Walking up to the door, I scramble through my bag to find my keys. When I was 13, she got her house keys cut so that I could just walk in and do as I please. Her family didn't mind, they practically counted me as their own as I was round hers nearly every day. Their practically my second family.

"Mum? Is that you? Your back early."

"It's me dick head."

Emilys head pops around the corner, a smile appearing on her face.

"Hey babe. You alright? You should of called me!"

My face reddens as I walk into her kitchen.