After Effects

Chapter 38 • After Effects

I knocked hesitantly then went inside, shutting the door behind me. Riddian was not in his room but on his balcony, looking out over the city. I moved into the room further, daring not to disturb him but instead wait for him to finish whatever he was doing and then acknowledge me.

I looked away.

What was wrong with me? I mean just because I found out that he was adopted all of a sudden everything changed? No! I'm sorry but he was still an asshole and I needed to get a hold of myself. He didn't deserve-!

I looked up and froze. Riddian was still turned away from me but I noticed without trouble that something was wrong with him. He gripped the railing tightly and threw his head back as he looked to the sky. A heavily distressed look overtook his face and he released what sounded like a pained grunt as he leaned forward towards the railing and touched his forehead to it.

I watched and my mind started with the thoughts again, forcing me to take a grip of the chair before me. I felt really guilty again. When did I become such a horrible person? It shouldn't matter that Riddian was... not the nicest boss. He was a person anyway and I knew what it felt like to lose a mother and couldn't imagine a life without my dad too. Imagine how he must've felt being reminded that he had lost the two most important people of his life at probably a very young age.

My heart hurt.

I shook my head, having finally had enough of the feeling that I was intruding on something personal, and began taking backwards steps with the intention of leaving the office. I accidentally hit my hand against the desk which made me yelp and inturn made my boss go stiff.

I made sure my hand was fine before I looked back to Riddian and I found him now leaned over the railing again but this time looking more tense and like the usual bossy Remora.

There was no escaping now I realized and slowly made my way out the office and onto the balcony beside him. My hand was a lot better now and I took ahold of the railing as well then looked out onto the buildings below. It was silent between us, though not the case with everything else around us.

After some time, I thought that he wasn't going to say anything at all so I decided to start the conversation.

"It's beau-"

"I was only eleven when it happened."

I froze immediately. My head snapped in his direction but he wasn't even looking at me. His hard gaze was solely concentrated on the view before us and I had to ask myself if he was really going to tell me what had happened? I didn't know if I was supposed to feel honoured or scared, but of course I wanted to hear so I wasn't going to stop him.

"I was older than a lot of the kids who went through that orphanage, but still younger than the rest," he continued. "What made me feel apart and even more confused than the others though was that my mother abondoned me by choice, and that makes me really angry."

I could literally feel his rage radiating through the air but I kept quiet, listening to his every word.

"I grew up with my mother alone. We had no other family. My dad I had never heard a word of and my mother told me to never ask about him. I never minded though since my mother made sure that my life never lacked any necessities. She was both my parents, provided everything I needed, worked hard everyday to make sure I never wanted for anything important. I got nothing less and nothing more but that was fine with me because my mother... loved me." He paused and emphasised on the 'loved'.

"I never expected her to do what she did in the slightest. I mean she was the kindest woman in the world. No one had anything bad to say about her and she never yelled at me for anything. She spent every free moment that she didn't have to work with me, yet she never chose her work over me... so what the heck did she choose?"