Misfit

CHAPTER X

28.05.1999

Three weeks after her encounter with Harry, Hermione still preferred to work in the back, producing more sweets and other things the twins sold at the store. After Hermione told the twins that Voldemort was conceived while his father was under the influence of a love potion they removed their love potions rather quickly from their shelves. Fred had started inventing new products and would sometimes come to her if he ever got stuck and needed academic support – which Hermione gladly provided, because if she was sure of one thing – she still loved knowledge and researching. So, when Fred came to her for help, she hit her library at home until she came up with a solution for his problem. Working this closely with both of the twins also manifested the opinion she already had on them. They were rather brilliant wizards and Hermione was sure not even their mother acknowledged the fact that, to put all those products together they would need at least some brain between the two of them and they had plenty of it. Hermione grew quite fond of the twins and her work at their shop – she would never admit that out loud though, for her own sanity.

The work kept her occupied. It kept her mind off things that she did not want to deal with and sometimes she was so tired at the end of a day, that when she came home she took a dreamless sleep potion and fell straight into bed. Her work gave her an out. An out of everything that was troubling her mind. But even though her thoughts were occupied, her mind was still playing tricks on her. It happened often before she started working with the twins – the sudden twitching of her fingers, her legs giving out for only a split second, the pain starting from her lower back up to her neck. It got less over the last few weeks, but Hermione was still overcome by her little "troubles", as she called them in her mind, every now and then. She would notice it while brewing a potion, holding ingredients over the cauldron and her hands would shake and jerk a little, making her huff in frustration when accidently putting the wrong amount into the potion. When she was stocking the shelves a couple of days ago and her knees buckled slightly, making her drop the box she was carrying or when she was sitting down keeping the books and the pain in her back was spreading slowly, the grip on her quill so tight that her knuckles turned white and sweat formed on her forehead. It came and went quickly most of the times and if the twins noticed, they didn't say anything. One time she caught Fred watching her after she had put too much of the Flobberworm Mucus into a potion making it too thick und unusable, but he didn't say a word. Hermione liked to pretend that she was okay and kept telling herself over and over again.

Not today though. Today Hermione was having a really bad day. She had not slept well at all – she ran out of Dreamless Sleep Potion – nightmares and flashbacks keeping her up most of the night. When she came to work, Fred was already up and running about, checking if everything was ready for them to open the store. George had returned to Diagon Alley last week, seeing as Hermione did all the work in the back, freeing Fred to work in the front.

"Good Morning, Hermione", he says cheerfully, only looking up when he does not get a reply, seeing the girl in question walking past him without so much of a comment. Figuring that she was not in the mood he left her for the first part of the day to work in the back and not bothering her. Sometime during their lunchbreak, she emerged from the back with two trays, one in each hand, carrying some potions Fred had developed. They were called "Tonkers" and would change the nose of the drinker into all sorts of animal snouts. It was their way of honouring Tonks and naming their product after Tonks mixed with "bonkers" just made perfect sense to them. Before Fred could think any further he saw her hands starting to shake, her left knee buckling for a second and a gasp leaving her mouth and the trays leaving her hands, shattering on the floor in front of her. As quickly as it happened it was over, and Hermione was staring at the mess in front of her with big eyes. Fred leaped up from his position behind the register and moved over to her. With a quick wave of his wand and the mess disappeared, leaving Hermione standing in the middle of the shop.

"Fred, I am so sorry", she breathes after snapping out of her daze.

"It's alright, Hermione. No harm done", he says a small smile directed her way.

"I just ruined so many of the new potions. I will go straight back and start a new batch. How horribly foolish of me. Such tardiness", she rambles, turning around without looking back.

"Hermione", he calls after her, stopping her in her tracks.

"Yeah?", she whispers while getting the ingredients out of the storage room. Fred had followed her and for once he decided he would not let it go.

"What happened just there? Your hands were shaking, and you looked to be in a lot of pain and I just don't quite understand...", he trails off when she had stopped all movement. Her back was facing him, and he could not see the look of defeat on her face, but he could see, by the movement of her shoulders, how she took in a deep breath before turning back around to face him.

"I get like that sometimes. It started after the war. I call them 'troubles'. It hasn't happened a lot in the last few weeks. I am sorry that I ruined your potions", she tells him in a quiet voice.

"It's not about the potions, Hermione. I am just trying to understand."

"I encountered a situation during the war that left me with these little outtakes. It's like my mind playing tricks on me, to make sure that I don't ever forget. It's just a little shake in my fingers, or sudden weakness of my limbs and sometimes excruciating pain in my back", she told him calmly. She knew there was no point of lying to him as it might happen again, and she needed to tell someone eventually.

"So, how can it be healed?", Fred asked curiously. He knew she was holding back on what happened, but he was not going to push her. This is the first time that she was opening up and he was taking whatever he got.

"There is no cure for it. Never was. It's just something that I will have to accept and come to terms with. It's not going to go away and will always be part of me. Some days it's easier and some days it's worse."

"What is stopping you?"

"Stopping me?" Hermione looks at him confused. She was grateful that he didn't pester her with questions about how it happened exactly, instead he listened to her, but his last questions left her confused.

"Stopping you from finding a cure, of course!", he exclaims as if it was the most obvious thing out there.

"I just told you, there is no cure."

"Not up until now. But, since when did that ever stop you? You are still the brightest witch of your age. If anyone can find a cure, it's you", he encourages her and brings her to think of something she had not once thought about.

It was true, there currently was no known cure, but no one had probably ever researched an antidote for the side effects. Fred could tell, from the determination in her face that she was already lost in her thoughts and probably making plans on how to start her research.

"You know what? I might just actually do that", she says after a few minutes of thinking.

"Great! You can work on this whenever you want. If there isn't much to do out front you are more than welcome to research in the back", he tells her with a big smile.

"No, Fred. I wouldn't want to use my work time for a private project", she argues with no avail as he is already waving her off.

"Don't be silly. Take whatever time you want. If you succeed, and I am sure you will, be sure to remember us", he smirked at her. Before she could argue any further, he leave the room, still smiling to himself. 

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So, here is a small little chapter. I'm actually quite happy with it and totally love the idea of "Tonkers" {Please tell me what you think of them}

As always lots of love and until the next chapter! xx