The sound of rain pounding on my window woke me up on Monday, my first day of senior year in High School. I rolled out of bed and my feet hit the cold, wooden floor, sending chills up my spine and making goose bumps appear on my arms. I shivered and grabbed an oversize sweater from the back of my chair and pulled it over my head, I peaked out the window. It was still dark outside in London, it was only three in the morning, after all.
Letting out a small sigh, I stared out at the rain with a faint smile on my lips, I loved the rain more than almost anything else. Except my mother, of course, mom was the only person who deserved my love and the only person who got it. Mom was, like me, used by a boy and lost her virginity, like me.
The guy who I'm supposed to call my father met my mom at a bar and he got her drunk, the two of them had sex and mom got pregnant. He was close to ten years older than her and that made me sick to my stomach, mom was only fifteen years old! Sometimes people will mistaken us to be sisters because mom looks so young and she's only fifteen years older, we always have to correct and that puts us into many awkward situations.
After staring out the window for a while, I sat down on my cold floor and pulled a scrapbook from underneath my bed. I put pictures and other small things that represent something important from my life. The first picture was one of me as a baby and mom, she looked really young, only thirteen. This makes me shift uncomfortably and turn the page. It's not like I'm ashamed, but it's really weird to see your mom who looks like she should be your sister.
The next picture was of mom, gran, and me when I was two years old. I loved gran because she never scolded mom or disowned her after what happened, instead, she helped and whipped my supposed father's butt! But she died a while ago... I really missed her.
I turned the page to see a picture of mom and I together again, I was about six at the time which means that mom was about twenty. She was pushing me on the swing and I had this massive grin on my face. I remembered papa taking this picture, another person in the small group of people I loved.
Here you could really see the resemblance of mom and I, we both had dark, curly brown hair and hazel eyes which sparkled when we talked about what we were most passionate about. The next picture was of papa reading to me when I was seven. I looked like I was still only four, I always have been really small. Even right now I'm only 5'2"! I was sitting on his lap in this chair. Gran took this picture.
Most of the pictures were of me with either gran, papa, or mom. I continued looking through them until I reached one towards the end when I was about fifteen. My heart dropped and I felt like I was going to cry for a minute. It was of my ex-boyfriend and I, the guy who used me. He had this perfect blonde hair that was just a little messy and light green eyes. His arm was wrapped around me and he smiled his perfect smile.
I remembered the day he used me like it was yesterday...
' "Hey, Beth!" Called Jared, my ex.
I turned around and grinned while he placed a kiss on my lips, slipping his hand into mine. "So I was thinking," he said. "Maybe you could come over to my house tonight. My parents aren't going to be home."
"Hmm... sounds a little fishy..." I winked and he chuckled. "But sure, sounds fun!"
We had been dating for over six months so, even if I was only fifteen, I was prepared and thought that we were ready for it. Later that day, he took me over to his house and lead he into the bedroom. He didn't wait and just got right to it.
After shutting the door, he pressed me against the wall and started kissing me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and ran my hands through his hair while he had one hand on my waist and the other on my behind. His hands trailed to my thighs and I jumped up, wrapping my legs around his waist.
