This chapter is dedicated to Marie_is_the_Reason for being such an amazing fan!
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By the second day of senior year, I had convinced myself that whatever feelings I had about Evan were not strong ones, and if they ever were, it was only friend-type feelings, not romantic ones. I woke up bright and early just like the previous morning and checked out my window, it was still dark and raining again. It was exactly like yesterday, except I knew that today would be different because I knew that I would meet my friend on the bus, but that didn't make it any less weird.
It was only four in the morning, I had plenty of time before the bus arrived, so I pulled my photo album out from underneath my bed again and opened it up to the last page I was on. It was the page of Jared and I, my eyes skimmed over the photo before moving to the next one. Another picture of him and I. This time, we were sitting on the beach and he was staring at me while I smiled at the camera.
I couldn't help but smile faintly at the picture, I remember getting it taken by mom, she used to think that he was perfect for me, just like I did. It took Jared and mom forever to convince me to get the picture taken, I thought I looked hideous that day. When I finally did get it taken, I looked over at Jared and he kissed me, mom walked away to leave us alone.
The next page was another picture of Jared and I, it was only a month before he broke up with me... When that thing happened. He was behind me with his arms wrapped around me. A flare of anger flashed through my chest when I saw how happy I looked with his arms wrapped around me. Clueless, completely oblivious to what was about to happen thirty days later, convinced that the two of us would be together forever.
Taking in a deep breath, I slammed the book closed again and tossed it across the room so that it hit the opposite wall with a loud THUD. I ran my hands through my knotted hair as I stood up and walked towards the bathroom to take a quick shower. Today I needed to take an icy cold shower to make myself feel even more numb, both on the inside and on the outside. Maybe I could make it through school today without feeling like I was going to cry in the slightest.
After my shower, I did my usual morning routine, washing my face, brushing my teeth, blow drying my hair and brushing it out. I threw on a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and an oversize, black 'The Beatles' t-shirt. I put my converse on and sorted through my backpack to make sure I had finished my homework and had everything I needed for school today.
Once I had triple checked, I slung my bag over my shoulder and went downstairs, it was only about five thirty, my mom wasn't up yet. I quickly made myself some toast and a big cup full of coffee and sat down at the table, taking my time eating. I forced myself not to think about Evan, to continue feeling as numb as humanly possible.
I turned to see what time it was, only about five forty, time seemed to be going by awfully slow, and that's when I realized that I was actually excited to see Evan again. I took in a deep, shaking breath and washed off my plate and cup in the sink then grabbed my bag. I quickly wrote a note to my mom.
' Decided to leave for the bus early.
Going to hang out with Evan after school.
See you later.
- Beth '
I stuck the note on the coffee machine and went out the door, shutting it silently behind me and walking towards the bus stop. There wasn't anyone there yet this early in the morning, but I was kind of happy about that. I sat down on the bench and took out To Kill a Mockingbird, but my mind kept wondering back to Evan.
It had done this several times before I finally set down my book and ran a hand through my hair, squeezing my eyes shut. 'Shut up, shut up, shut up!' I thought angrily. 'I have control over you so just shut up! He's a friend... Just a friend...' I nodded my head approvingly and picked my book back up to start reading.
