I think that the problem with being a teenager is you think that your life absolutely sucks all of the time just by the littlest things you see. Say that you see a couple holding hands or kissing, you think that every boy in the world hates you and that you're ugly. Or maybe you see some friends laughing together and you think that everyone hates you and that you're worthless, that nobody understands you. The truth is, the reason that nobody understands you is because you don't let people understand you, you hide away and don't talk to anyone. And that's why no one talks to you.
Evan Sanders, the guy that was never noticed by anyone but me, taught me this when I became his best friend. At the time, I was one of those teenagers who was desperate for love, for a best friend, and to be noticed by anyone but my mother. I hate Evan Sanders because he took me out of my perfect little numb state and made me feel something. And that something is the thing that made me force myself to go numb in the first place.
After breaking up with Jared Walkers, the guy I thought I was going to live the rest of my life with, I forced myself not to feel anything. The only feelings I felt was a love for my mom, my only friend, the only person that I needed in my life. Nothing is perfect and I just had to get over the fact that life wasn't going to play out for me like in some silly romance novel. I had to figure out my way.
Evan and I were eccentric, nobody understood us no matter how hard we tried, but we never tried to fit in. We stayed ourselves but went to social events, talked to other groups of friends, tried to find someone else that was just like us. But there was only two people in the group of misfits, and that was him and me.
That's when a little question was asked by my mother. "Is it possible to be best friends with a boy and yet never feel the slightest attraction to him?" And that was the question that changed my life.
