If Tomorrow Never Comes | On Hold

10

Avery woke up in the middle of the night to the sounds of her father emptying his stomach in the downstairs bathroom. She'd fallen asleep on the couch after tackling all the homework that had been dumped on her during the second week of school and had decided against going out on this Saturday evening.

Her dad had officially started his chemotherapy sessions, she would get out of school and drive straight to the house, pick him up and then spend the following hours keeping him company in the cancer wing of Savannah Regional.

He had sessions twice a week and yesterday's Friday session seemed to have a delayed effect. He'd been the epitome of health until around four in the afternoon today, when he refused to eat and locked himself in his bedroom for the remainder of the evening. She had learned her lesson before about trying to push him into doing things he didn't want to, always ending in an argument that left Avery frustrated and close to tears.

She knew he never meant the things he said, the doctors had told her that his mood swings were a side effect of the tumor, but that didn't mean they didn't hurt any less. They'd sat her down a few months back when the symptoms had become more frequent and explained everything to the last detail.

"Grade IV Astrocytoma (Glioblastoma) is a very fast growing central nervous system tumor. It's very rare but studies have shown that it happens mostly in men after the average age of fourty. It's pressing very tightly against his frontal lobe, the symptoms can range from dizziness and loss of appetite, to extreme personality changes and seizures."

They'd told her that surgery was an option, but the tumor itself was so aggressive that it would just continue to grow and it was so deeply imbedded into her fathers brain tissue, that it was practically impossible to get it all. She thought doctors were supposed to do the unthinkable, that miracles could happen within the four walls where her father was slowly losing his life, but when Doctor Matthews refused to meet her gaze she knew there was nothing to be done.

The best they could do now was hope the chemo would keep the tumor from spreading too far. It had already taken home in her fathers frontal lobe, and that in itself was more than both Avery and her father could take.

"Papa?" She mumbled as she sleepily made her way down the hallway to his room. His door was open and light was spilling out from underneath the bathroom door across the way. She rapped lightly on the wooden door, pushing it open slightly to see her father leaning against the bathtub with his forehead against the wall, his t-shirt sweaty and clinging to his frail body.

The room reeked of vomit but she walked in anyway, turning on the shower and attempting to help him inside the tub. "C'mon papa, you've gotta help me here." Her voice shook with unshed tears as he groaned at the slight movements, but she could tell that he was trying his best to pull himself up.

"I'm s-sorry pumpkin," his entire body was shaking against her and she shook her head vigorously, taking deep breaths to steady her beating heart. "I didn't-" he stopped and gagged, "I didn't want you to see me like this."

"Just wait right here, okay? I'll be right back." He was laying in the tub now, the water cascading onto his too-pale face. Avery ran out of the bathroom and straight to where her phone was sitting on the coffee table. Her fingers shook as she fumbled to unlock it, immediately dialing Kelsey.

"Hey you've reached Kelsey-" Avery groaned and hung up, scrolling down to call Madison. Her phone went straight to voicemail too. They were probably already at a party god-knows-where, and she knew it was futile to call them again. She used her open palm and hit her forehead repeatedly, hard enough to where she knew it would be red for hours to come.