Hardly Perfection

5 - Complex Heart

Just as a little side-note, this story isn't meant to glorify or approve of any type of abuse at all, it's just for the plot. If you're suffering from abuse please contact someone, because you're not alone. I feel awkward being serious but I feel like its necessary. Okay thanks :3

>~<

"The complex heart makes me too tired, makes this too real."

>~<

I wake up from my slumber on the bathroom floor to the sound of rain pounding violently on the roof and massive windows. The thumping sound seems to mix with the sound of my throbbing headache as well, which is excruciating by the way. I slowly push myself off of the cool tiles, stopping every few seconds for the pain in my skull to subside enough for me to stand. It is 3 o'clock in the afternoon, according to the large wall clock in the bathroom, just 6 hours after the incident with Luke. When my legs were able to hold me upright without falling over, I opened the door to walk out, but not before my eyes caught the reflection in the bathroom's mirror. I step back as I examine my reflection cautiously. The area where I had been slapped was turning an unappealing color of blue mixed with yellow, and was most likely still developing. My fingers dust lightly over the hand-sized marking.

"Just great..." I whisper to myself.

"And now I'm talking to myself..."

"You okay?"

My head jerks swiftly towards Luke where he stands resting on the door frame.

"No. Go away," I say plainly to him, turning my attention to the wall.
I've decided that all he wants from me is a reaction; some sort of emotion from me whether it's fear when he hits me, or attraction when he smirks like he knows I'm going to melt inside. I won't give him what he wants. I'm not giving him my emotions like I did earlier today. It's not like I held anything but anger towards him anyways.

"Dani?" I rest my eyes back on him. He is wearing a Nirvana shirt this time with black ripped skinny jeans.

"Hello?" He waves his hands to catch my attention.

"What."

"I said the power went out, so I came to check on you." he says.

"Oh, well I'm just dandy, so if you could go back to doing whatever you were doing, that would be great." I reply with sarcasm.

"Fine. Dinner will be ready at four." he sighs before walking out. I was completely expecting him to hit me again or tell me how worthless I am. I guess not.

I go to the light switch to see if he was just messing with me, but sure enough, nothing. How is he going to make dinner without power? He doesn't even seem like the cooking type. As I stroll out of the bathroom, there is a giant flash out of the window to my left, followed by loud, rolling thunder making me nearly lose my balance.

"Oh my god." I breathe.

I take quick steps to the padded window seat and sit with my knees to my chest in the corner. I feel like a giddy little kid, but I love thunder and lightning. It's so beautiful with the flashes and streaks of light followed by the menacing roar of thunder. Each time it appears differently, and each one is unique.

>~<

I must've been watching for an hour because soon Luke shows up knocking at my bedroom door. I suppose it's really his door...

"Dinner's ready." he says. "Whatcha doing?"

"Watching." I state.

"I can see that. I meant like why are you watching the weather outside." He rolls his blue eyes.

"Because I want to." I reason, still staring outside at the pouring rain with the occasional zap and boom.

"I'm serious, why are you watching the thunder and lightning?" Luke pries. He sits across from me, mimicking my position, and flinches at the sudden light.

"Because... I like it." I look at him as his eyes search mine for answers.

I shift my gaze to his feet, and how they are nearly touching mine, then I go to his legs. They are long and thin in his black skinnies that are an inch too short for him.

"It's fascinating..." I move up to his arms and how they're crossed, holding his legs in tight enough that you can see the outline of his biceps regardless of his thin physique.

"and... it makes me nervous..." When I move onto his face he's watching me observe him. His hair is messily spiked up, but it looks so put together. His chin is resting on his arms and he looks so adorable and innocent until you see the black ring looped around his bottom lip.

"But it still calms me down..." I finally look into his blue eyes. They dont look as grey as they usually do. They were swimming with an emotion that I can't decipher.

"It always has..." I mumble the last bit, and looked out into the dark cloud cover hoping for another strike of lightning to slice through my awkward observations. I can feel his eyes continuing to studying me. I'm not sure if he was looking through me or waiting for me to continue. To be honest, I'm not sure if I was talking about the weather or Luke as I spoke to him. It's true, he's made me nervous before. He still makes me nervous. I'm afraid of him most of the time, but I let my guard down because he fascinates me. He's so bipolar, being serious and abusive one minute, then friendly and nervous the next. If you haven't noticed, I like studying people because an image and personality can tell you a lot about someone. Maybe that's just me being strange, but I can't help but study Luke. I might be falling for him or something, but it's only his nice, soft side that I appreciate. He's a true asshole and he's abusive, but I can't help myself. I don't even know him well enough, so why am I debating my feelings for him? I decide to stop my self-argument and break the tension.

"Um, didn't you say dinner was ready? I wouldn't want it to get cold or something..." I ramble, matching my vision with his once more. He makes no sudden movements and I think it took a moment to register in his mind that I was speaking to him.

His eyes widen as he speaks, "Oh! Right, uhh.... I'll show you where the kitchen is." as he stands up quickly.
I nod and he paces toward the door with me in tow.

>~<

A/N
Hiiii sorry I've been gone for so long... I had started this chapter before school began (I'm in 10th grade) and I've been busy with AP homework and a lot of other classes.
Also I've been sick for a week and missed a day of school because missing school means getting behind which means more work UGH. That made no sense.
ANYWAYS, sorry, but I'll try and upload more? I really like this story, but school is a priority unfortunately. Also I just really like reading other fanfiction and watching YouTube, and it engulfed me... Plus I really want to start a YouTube channel. It looks sooo fun. Does anyone else have this dream? Legit, it's ruining me.
Thanks for reading!
~ Nicole xxxxxxxx