Hardly Perfection

9 - Photograph

"We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts are never broken
And time's forever frozen still"

>~<

Our heavy breaths mingle as he pushes me against the wall. I can't think straight as he runs his hands down my back to grip my waist. The loose band shirt that I'm wearing rises slightly and he takes the opportunity to caress my bare skin. At his very touch, I am both melted and frozen. Goose bumps form wherever his finger tips roam on my body. His hands begin to tug at the back of my legs.

"Jump." he demands between kisses. I feel a sense of déjà vu from our last, but I still comply to his request. My legs snake around his waist and lessens the little space that was left between us. Let's just say there is absolutely no room for Jesus between us. He detaches our lips to kiss my neck instead. I put my hands in his hair pulling him closer. I'm not sure what I'm doing, but I don't think I can stop.

He starts walking towards the staircase and soon enough he sets me on my soft bed. He stops the assault on my neck to look into my eyes as he crawls slowly on top of me until I'm laying down on the mattress. His eyes burn holes into my soul and I feel unstoppable in this moment. My hand trails slowly over his cheek to push up a fallen strand of his hair.

I flip us over so I'm the one on top straddling him. Luke looks shocked at first but he gives a little side smile. Its not a smirk, rather one to show that he's happy. He pulls me back down to reconnect our lips.

Our snogging continues for a few minutes and he ends up flipping us over again to be on top of me. He kisses me once more before getting up and opening the night stand drawer. Luke digs through its contents before taking out a small box. I watch as his whole body freezes when two pictures fall out from under it.

He dips down cautiously to pick up the fallen paper and I sit up from the bed because something is clearly wrong.

"Luke?" I say quietly. He stands back up with his eyes locked on the photos. I can't tell what the pictures are of but they mean something to Luke. I watch helplessly as a small tear escapes his delicate baby blue eyes.

"What's wrong?" I ask. His eyes turn cold and empty when he finally rips his stare from the paper in his hands to me. He looks emotionless and dead.

"This was a mistake." He says quickly, putting the photos back and shutting the drawer. My jaw opens in shock, and I don't know what to say. He puts his hand to his forehead and paces around for a few seconds before pausing.

"I should go." Luke says before making his way to the open door. All I'm able to do is sit on the bed, unmoving, in my state of shock and confusion. Halfway through the door, he pauses again.

"Sorry." He says barely audibly. Before I can say anything, he's already out of my room and slamming the front door closed.

I sit on the bed recollecting my mind before I decide that taking a shower would be the best way to figure out what just happened. I grab some towels from the closet without bothering to collect my clothes.

I turn on the warm stream, remove my clothes, and step into the tub.

>~<

I've been in this shower for thirty minutes and I've already had an emotional breakdown. I was under the stream for about two minutes before the tears came. now here I am, sitting naked on the floor under the pounding water. The tears stopped ten minutes ago, but I can't bring myself to stop staring blankly and making incoherent shapes out of the patterned shower curtain. Somehow I manage to actually stand up and wash myself. I wrap a towel around my body and hair after I exit the shower.

I don't have the energy to dry my hair either, so instead I just go to pick out clean clothes from the closet. As I walk back over to the bed, I feel a pang in my chest from the thought of Luke and I being there less than an hour ago.

"This was a mistake."

Maybe it was a mistake. I obviously wasn't thinking clearly enough to see trough his lies.

I accidentally kick the small box that he left on the floor earlier. I set my clothes on the bed and bend down to pick it up.

Condoms.

He was going to have sex with me? I'm not ready for that with him! He only just barely confessed that he feels something for me and now he's running away saying it was a mistake.

I go to put the box back in the drawer when I notice the pictures he was holding sitting there staring at me. I set the box in the drawer and pick up the small photographs.

In one picture I see one woman in a hospital bed and one man holding a little baby in a blue blanket. It must have been taken at the hospital after the baby was born. I flip the photograph over to find a date scribbled in black ink

July 16th, 1996.

Maybe the boy is Luke? I flip it back over, but I can't tell. The parents look a bit similar to his features. I switch my gaze to the other photo and gasp.

The picture is a Polaroid of Luke and a girl that looks like my complete opposite. Jet black hair with a bright pink shirt. They're sitting on the grass and Luke is smiling brightly, but hers doesn't appear to be half as sincere as his. On the back, it says inside of a heart:

Luke & Michelle 2012

>~<

That night it had started raining. Luke still didn't come come. I waited downstairs at the table for eight hours worried out of my mind. I really shouldn't have been that concerned since he was perfectly capable When the door finally opened, I was out of my seat to meet him there. What I saw wasn't Luke. Well it was him, but he wasn't there. His hair was matted to his forehead his clothes were soaked, and his vans were muddy, all from the rain. His eyes were red with pale grey irises that didn't meet mine until his coat was shrugged off and his vans were tossed on the shoe mat. Even then it felt as if he was looking past me. I called his name but he only shook his head and went upstairs. I didn't follow.

>~<

On Friday I didn't see his face at all. I think he might've been hiding from me because I only heard his door open when I got in the shower and couldn't go after him. By the time my rushed shower was done, his door was closed again.

>~<

I saw him on Saturday. It was brief and I didn't speak to him, nor did he speak to me. The rain continued along with another lightning storm. When I came down the stairs, he was on the couch staring blankly outside. I think he was watching the lightning strikes. Perhaps he had taken a liking to the beautiful disaster like I did.

>~<

Sunday was different. I was finished with his games. I thought that if he wanted to ignore me, then I could play that game, too. When I came downstairs that morning, I wasn't expecting him to be making breakfast. He looked at me for the first time without disgust or regret, but instead with guilt. He said my name. It sounded forced with his raspy voice. He tried to reach out to me, but I ran back up the stairs with the tears threatening to spill. He didn't follow.