Soulmates

Chapter 6

We don't always get what we want; I knew that for a fact, like everyone else did. We hope for it, wish for it, wait for it... For some, it happens eventually. For some, it doesn't. Think it doesn't, or not.

One can only hope.

Then get your hope shattered with a word. For hope is a huge building of glass. Floors upon floors of thin glistening glass.

One small stone thrown at the right speed in the right place, and all hope would be gone.

Would've been easy if it disappeared, but unfortunately, it doesn't. You are met with a giant pile of shattered glass. Too scared to clear it up, too dangerous to leave it there. Useless to use, dangerous to keep.

We keep it anyway, to gaze at the disaster our mind created, and people destroyed.

The hospital lobby was getting more crowded with families waiting on their dying loved ones, revived ones, and ones waiting on one last hope in the words of a doctor or a nurse.

“Can we find somewhere quiet?" Hunter asked.

Did I even have the heart to talk anymore?

“What difference does silence do to a broken heart?"

I left the room without uttering any other word, knowing that when I would come back tomorrow to check on Ryder and Spencer, he'll be long gone back to his medical school, and I’ll be back to my school, and we'll all pretend that everything is normal, and that everyday your best friends kill themselves and go into comas.

Perfectly normal.

How much was I supposed to work on a useless hope of having something with someone I mostly know from phone calls and texts.

I hoped the answer was ‘forever ‘ for I wasn’t ready to give up hope just yet.

Fresh air quickly replaced the smell of sanitizer and clean floors. My nose was thankful for that.

I silently promised my best friends that I will be back for them.

On my way out, I saw Jane, Ryder’s ex, entering the hospital doors with a bouquet of jasmines in her hand. She pretended she didn’t see me, which was great to be honest.

I didn’t wanna go to a stuffy dorm and I didn’t know where to go. Eventually I made my mind.

When in doubt, go to Crusty’s.

All the way while driving there I thought how nice a cup of Crusty Coffee would feel.

But then something happened and I couldn’t think about coffee, or anything else anymore.

I've heard of people struggling with self identity before but somehow I knew this wasn’t the same.

I learned later on how wrong I was about myself, but that was not until at least a few more mouths...

God how I wish I could stop time and not let it lead me to where it eventually did.

I wasn’t surprised to find Theodore at Crusty's.

Not that I stalk him or that he’s always there.

He could have been there all the time for all I knew, but the problem was, no matter how I put it, it would sound wrong.

An echo of a voice in my head told me he was there.

It told me a lot of things, but for now I wasn’t gonna listen to more than I need to know. It got me wondering, however if I went to Crusty’s because I knew Theodore was gonna be there, or because I just wanted coffee.

Then immediately, and as if it were waiting for the perfect opportunity to escape, a surge of anger flooded my veins with its heat.

Why did Hunter not follow me?

Why did he not stop me?

Hunter, why did you let me go?

I thought I asked the question aloud, but i didn’t.

Though I could've sworn I heard someone else ask me these questions. As If Jack #2 was sitting at the table infront of me asking questions only to get me worked up.

Why would I want to anger myself by myself?

I put that question aside for the time, facing and focusing on the sweet boy who lost his cat, approaching my table holding a chocolate muffin.

He took a bite of it as he took a seat..

“Hoping this isn’t taken?" he asked politely. I shook my head.

Crusty's was more crowded than usual.
I didn’t mind it though. People tend to use their mouth for talking less when they’re eating.

When he took a better look at me, he almost choked on his food. "You look awfully terrible."

"Best compliment of the day." I didn't intend to sound as sarcastic as I did. But I was and his eyes scrunched in offense. He had the right to. "Sorry, I didn't mean to."

"It's fine."

"No, it isn't." I noticed a waiter giving me a strange look as he passed. What the hell was wrong with him? Theodore didn't notice it, but I continued anyway. "It's not okay to let out my frustration on you."

He was very considerate and listened to everything I had to say till the end. Eventually we had to leave Crusty's because everyone was looking at us and I couldn't stand being in a spotlight that I didn't know the reason behind.

Fuck everyone.

Theodore accompanied me to my dorm, which to my luck was empty.

Not that I had anything planned, just felt good to be away from people for a while.

I knew Theodore was people, but some people can be tolerated.

We sat on my bed and talked for a bit until I was interrupted by my phone. I ignored the first few texts notifications. Theodore wanted to hear me play the keyboard so I was going to do it.

I checked to see who it was but I accidentally opened the message.

*I really need you right now*

I flinched and held the phone a couple minutes longer between my fingers.

Why do I always give more than they deserve?

I turned to Theodore to tell him I have to go. What baffled me was that he wasn't there. I didn't recall hearing the door getting closed or notice he left.

Was I going crazy or everyone was being weird today?

He was sitting on the floor. A huge guy with soft features and lush hair. He had a frown on his lips and sorrow in his eyes. It was tough to see how his head lies. My feelings went wild when I first lay sight on him, but my brain surely denies.

His brother killed himself but failed.

His brother's boyfriend is in a coma.

He knows nothing about his mother.

His boyfriend lives miles away from him.

And all he had with him was a casual sex and screen time.

His life sucked more than I imagined... And I was a major part of the problem.

Ya boy here procrastinated a chapter for a whole month. Goals? Goals.

For my baby the loml I love you ♡
Happy month, day, and year, for every 6th is a June 6th.

More chapters soon x