Ellie slept badly the next few nights, waking up disoriented and confused. It always took a few minutes before she realized where she was, or when she was. She'd go back to sleep, but the bad dreams would plague her.
She gave up on sleep, instead pulling the papers out that she'd brought, studying Harland again. She needed to get into the mindset, that he was the mission and that Bucky wasn't anything more than a dangerous distraction. She had to push her feelings down, but it gnawed at her.
Would things be different when she returned home? Did she alter things with her few encounters? And could she possibly keep away from him when she knew in her heart that she truly couldn't?
She'd briefly entertained the idea of staying. Of what it might be like if she did. How much of history would change? Would Bucky and Steve still go to war? Would Steve become Captain America? Would Bucky still fall from the train?
But it didn't matter. She knew she couldn't stay here. No, she'd finish the mission. Stop Harland from leaving and return to her own time. No matter the consequences. She had to, plain and simple. There was no alternative here.
She studied the papers, briefly glancing at the clock. 2 AM. She wondered where Harland might be before her mind travelled back to Bucky. Because, of course it did. She knew he was just down the hall. That it wouldn't be nothing to just walk down there and knock on his door.
But she couldn't do that. That was a crazy thought, no matter how tempting it really was. The idea of his hands exploring her body, both flesh. It gave her goosebumps, a tingle between her thighs at the thought. The way he looked at her, like he'd never seen a woman before.
It was new for her. That, with Bucky. She'd been pining for him since he'd arrived at the compound. Secretly in love with the man formerly known as the Winter Soldier. But she couldn't tell him that. Even when she held him at night, comforting him through his nightmares.
She simply didn't have the courage.
Afraid she'd deter his recovery. Making every possible excuse to everyone else why she couldn't just be honest with him. Why she couldn't just say those three damn words. It hurt, but she pushed it away. And now, here he was. All of him. Complete. And it made her heart ache to know he'd be gone in just a few short weeks.
That was something she knew she couldn't change. She couldn't possibly stop him from going, from falling from the train. And it pulled at every emotion she had. Torn between doing the right thing and doing whatever she could do to stop fate.
She pushed it down once more and stood, grabbing some clothes and applying her makeup. It may have been late, but there was a chance that Harland was at the speakeasy that was hidden inside the Woolworth's. She knew the password (thanks to Tony's research) and she needed to get close.
She put the extra bullets in her satin handbag and tucked the Derringer into the garter and went on her way, determined to make some progress. She knew that focusing, making sure she did what needed to be done, would be just what she needed to not think about Bucky. If only for one night.
"Prohibition," she told the man at the door with a smile and he nodded curtly, holding the door open for her. She quickly looked around the smoky, dark little bar, assessing the situation. No Harland. Great.
She made her way slowly to the bar, putting some money down and ordering a whiskey sour. She brought it to her lips and closed her eyes, letting the alcohol wash over her. "You and whiskey," she heard him say and she let out a breath. "Never met a dame that drinks like you," Bucky told her with a chuckle.
"Never met a dame not afraid to come into a place like this either," he told her and she smiled, lifting her skirt enough for him to get a glimpse at the tiny pistol. "Why am I not surprised?," he asked, shaking his head.
They talked for a few hours, mostly about his life. She knew she couldn't reveal too much about herself, only that she'd grown up in Brooklyn as well. She smiled a bit when he talked about Steve, the idea of him small and weak always made her smile. It seemed so unlikely.
She didn't remember following him home, too many drinks she supposed. But the feeling of his hands, both hands, all over her, well that she'd never forget. The feeling of his lips on hers, over her thighs. The words he whispered, telling her how beautiful she was. How good she felt. How he'd hoped and fantasized about having her beneath him.
She dug her nails into his back, crying out every time his cock nudged her spot, brushing over it and reaching deeper, impossibly deeper, making her cry out his name all night until they were both completely spent. It was heaven to Elliott. Pure bliss.
But it couldn't last. That she knew for sure. And she knew she'd affected something in the future, that she was also sure of. She'd messed with things that she knew she shouldn't have.
In the end, she couldn't stay away from him. Her mind told her no, but her body completely betrayed her. During the day, she'd track Harland. Following his movements, eventually gaining his trust. She was getting there, getting close.
At night, she'd fall into Bucky's bed. Moaning and crying out for him all night. Begging him for more and more. Needing to feel him, knowing it couldn't last but wanting to memorize every thing about him. Every freckle across his chest. Every moan that she pulled from his lips.
It felt like a dream. All of it, but she never wanted to wake from it. But her time was running out. Bucky was leaving soon, shipping off and it tore at her heart, knowing his fate. Wanting to beg him to stay. She let him have her. Dancing until midnight at the Black Cat. Days at Coney Island, riding the Cyclone until they both wanted to throw up.
She had her Bucky, and now it was time to let him go.
She watched him sleeping, so peacefully. They'd made love for the last time. Bucky had been a bit rougher, more passionate. Almost as if he knew his time was up, that his clock was ticking. He told her he loved her, whispered it as he spilled inside her, holding her body impossibly close to his.
The moonlight hit him just right and Ellie couldn't help but let her tears fall. She gently brushed her hand over his left arm, committing it to memory. He stirred, but didn't wake, his eyelashes fluttering just a bit. Her heart aches so badly, knowing he'd wake alone.
She stood, gathering her things and quietly made her way back to her little apartment. She grabbed everything she needed, tucking the pistol and placing the device on her wrist. She slowly made her way outside and down the street. One last stop and she could go home.
She put the pillow over Harland's face, muffling the sound and ending the life of the future threat, protecting her beloved Avengers, her family and hurried to the dusty little alleyway and clicked the device, sending her home.
Home to Bucky.
