You Can't Live Like This... (The Rules of Survival Fanfiction)

(Real) First Meeting

I never actually met your mom until she came over with you, Em. That was about three months after I talked with Matthew the night we met. I was actually planning on buying Matthew a birthday present when your mother came knocking on our door, holding your tiny hand. At first, she scared me, because I wasn't used to some random woman coming up to Murdoch's doorstep and giving me an obviously faked smile. I remember you were afraid too, Emmy. You were practically shaking as you sort of sucked on your thumb like an infant. Nikki leaned down and said softly, and almost too sane to be that normal, "I heard that someone named Murdoch McIlvane lived here. Mind telling me if I have the right address?"
"Lynny, who is it?"
"..." I just closed the door a crack, running to get Murdoch. Emmy, my voice was gone. This is exactly what happened when I met new people in Orange County. I just tugged on his shirt and pointed to the door. "Woman-found-address-child-scary-"
"Woah woah, calm down, Lynn." He grabbed my shoulders to calm me down. He rubbed them, staring at me with cautious and concerned eyes. I finally calmed down, and when he went to open the door, Em, your mother still stood there, now holding you in her arms. She spoke swift and light. I hid behind Murdoch as she offered to take him and I out to the diner with her and you. Honestly, when your mother started talking about inviting me over to your guys' house, I was a bit shocked... until she told me who her son was.

"How could you not tell me about Nikki??" I said on a nice day in August as Matthew and I walked along the boardwalk, taking in the ocean breeze. He had his hands stuffed in his pockets, looking down. When his head shot up, he gave me a look, the kind of look someone gives you when they've just realized something, and it has to do with you. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me to the side, a pretty secluded place away from people. He mumbled fast, "How do you know my mother?"
"She dropped by my brother's place, basically taking him out on a date!"
"That was your brother?"
"Yes! You didn't know?"
"Well, you never told me who your brother was, you just told me about him!" There was a bit of silence after that. I sigh and rub my arm. "You're right... it kinda is my fault. Sorry for not saying anything."

His short dark brunette hair kinda moved gently in the breeze as he sighed quick. "It's fine. Sorry for snapping at you..." He then just grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the secluded place with him, continuing to walk along the boardwalk. My cheeks burned red as I stared at our interlocked hands. He realized my sudden quiet nature and let go. He blinked, shoving his hand in his pocket. "M-my bad... d-didn't think that'd make you uncomfortable." Suddenly, my mind snapped back to reality, and I started to ramble pathetically. I did that for a good couple seconds before he said something to me. "Stop."
"I really didn't mind it, Matt, it's just so sudden and-"
"Lynnette, stop."
"No, Matt, listen, I know it seems kinda weird, but I really truly didn't mind i-"
"Lynny!"

I turned my head to see a bicycle man driving right at me, and the next minute, I'm staring at Matthew's bright blue eyes. We stayed in our very suspiciously romantic stance for a long time, just staring at each other. I know this isn't something you want to hear, because I know, romance, love, BLEH, but it's part of our story. Once he realized people were staring, he let go of me and his face became a great shade of pink. He cleared his throat. "W-watch where you're going... A-almost caused an accident." I just kept staring at him. He started walking again, and I shake my head, following quickly. Once we started heading back, we stood on the porch of Murdoch's house and talked for a little while longer. "So," I said, "heard your mom and Murdoch are planning on setting up a date on Saturday. Would you and your sisters wanna come over? I'm sure Murdoch won't mind, he said I could have friends over... Also I don't like the idea of you and your sister having to take care of your other one by yourselves."
"Like you could do any better?"
"Well, it's a woman's natural duty to take care of kids," I said, mocking gracefulness, "is it not?" For once, I actually got a pretty good laugh out of him. "Sure, okay," he rolls his eyes, still smiling. Emmy, I'm gonna say it, and I don't care if you find it disgusting or weird, your brother's smile is probably the best smile I've ever seen. Yes, it even beats yours, Emmy. His smile was my favorite part about him.

Anyways, I waved him goodbye as he walked back to his house, with his head down, as always. When I walked inside, Murdoch had swooped me up and held me over his shoulder. "How was your date today, Lynny?"
I laugh and whine playfully. "It wasn't a date, Murdoch! We were just hanging out by the boardwalk." He put me down and scoffed jokingly. "God, you two move so slow." He chuckles and ruffles my hair. I giggled and swatted his hand away. "You know I'm a tortoise! So," I sit at the table, looking up at him. "What's for supper?" He rolled his eyes with a smirk. "You gotta help, little lady." I sigh. "Whyyyyyy?"
"Because you've done it before."
"But I'm tiiiiired!"
"Lynnette Levesque McIlvane."
There was a pause.
"... I think I'm gonna help with supper now." I got up and started helping Murdoch, the both of us cracking jokes and laughing about them. After we finished the meals and played a few games, it was time to sleep, and I couldn't. Emmy, I kept thinking about him. It was hard not to think about Matthew, especially around that time. I stayed up late some nights, just looking out my window and staring into the sky, the moon glistening against the black night. It made me think about the future. What if Murdoch was right? What if Matthew and I were to stay together, and maybe even be with each other, for the rest of our lives? I bowed my head, hands holding each other.

"So... Whatever's up there in the sky, listen... I've known this boy for three months now... I want to know him forever... I want him to be my friend forever... I want him to be with me forever... I just wish he'd open up... Please... Let me know what his life is like... I want to know...
"I'm thankful for the house I'm more than able to live in, food to eat, clothes to wear, and the best brother in the world... I'm also thankful for taking me to the path that led to meeting Matthew. Amen."

I never believed God existed. But I thought it would be worth my time... But I didn't know that prayer was going to drive me into a pit of nightmares.