So Close But So Far

africa

Hudson's P.O.V.

I was standing outside Nick's house, watching her drive off in her car.

I was expecting something else, I wanted her to tell me 'no don't go there, please'.

But she never.

Obviously I wasn't going to Chloe's house, I couldn't stand her. So I decided to go to Nick's and pretend it was Chloe's house. I know, not the best idea, but at the time it seemed like a genius one.

I remembered the look of anger her eyes held as she asked where it was, a faint frown on her lips. I was trying my best to not look at them too much, I would always lose control when I did.

"Earth to fucking Hudson," Nick waved his hand in front of my face.

I had zoned out, Nick was standing in front of me, a bored look on his face.

"What?" I snapped, putting my hands in to my pockets.

"What the fuck are you doing here, that's what?" he said, emphasising each word and letter, acting as though I was a kid.

I rolled my eyes and pushed past him, walking through the open door which I presumed he had opened.

Alcohol. His house smelt of pure alcohol.

"Do you shower with fucking alcohol too?" I cringed, heading for the sofas.

"Yeah, I do," he fake smiled, lighting a cigarette.

I raised my eyebrows. "Your house already stinks as it is."

"Might as well add to it then," he shrugged, taking a whiff of it.

I sat on one of the sofas, rubbing the back of my neck.

It had been a hectic day. So much had happened, it was overwhelming.

I kissed her.

I fucking kissed her.

Do you even understand how crazy that is?

I thought I'd never get close enough to even hug her let alone-

"Hudson's here," I heard Nick say on the phone. He was stood in front of me, his tongue running over his lips.

"Who is it?" I asked, resting my head on the sofa.

He ignored me and walked out of the room, the cigarette still in his hands.

I ruined everything.

We were going to be friends. She was okay with us being friends.

But I had to ruin it.

Fuck.

I ruin everything.

But then I remembered our conversation in the car.

'No chemistry' my ass.

She was in denial. She had to be.

I could tell by the way she kissed me. 

And I could tell she was experienced with kissing, as much as the thought of that angered me.  

It was the way she expressed herself through the kiss.

It was the way I felt consumed by the kiss.

The way my heart was beating erratically against my chest.

The way my heart craved for more.

I had never felt anything like that before.

And it was all making it harder for me to leave her alone.