The Art Of Not Caring

e l e v e n

"What did you think?" Tessa asked, shoving the fork full of unidentifiable cafeteria food in her mouth.

"I don't know. I think I liked it? Maybe? It was entertaining. I mean, it was easy to read and pretty well written?" I didn't blush this time. In fact after reading the entirety of the book Tessa had lent me I felt like I'd used up my ability to blush entirely. That didn't mean I wasn't still awkward when talking about it though.

"Suure, the writing style is what got you." Tessa teased.

"Yep. Good use of metaphors. And I think I spotted some allegories as well. A literary masterpiece." I fired back.

"In that cases, there are more where that one came from."

"Great! Gimme!" I laughed.

I'd grown more comfortable talking to Tessa this week. She had something calming about her, something so reassuring I didn't think I could say a lot of the wrong things.

We were sitting at what had become our table in the cafeteria. It had become normal to sit there somehow and I really felt like I was sitting with a friend. The staring had lessened a lot as Tessa had predicted. So much in fact, that I wasn't sure anymore how bad it had been to begin with. It was like I was finally achieving normality again - a weird normality but it worked for me. Only Kat and Lacey still made me uneasy. And Luke of course but I avoided him like the plague and I had the feeling he was doing the same.

"It's Friday tomorrow." She commented. "Have anything planned?"

"Um... lot's of homework for one. But other than that no." I answered.

"Wanna go shopping?" She asked.

"Sure!" I said before realising that shopping was something I truly didn't want to do. The last shopping trip was still too fresh in my mind and I didn't want to repeat that debacle if I didn't have to. One look at Tessa's happy expression however kept me from saying anything else. I didn't want to disappoint her.

In return Tessa started talking about this great dress she'd seen as well as something about a great mens sweater she wanted to get for the winter.

"I already miss dresses. And my leather jacket." She joked, and stared outside. Fall had decided to stay for good now and the sky was permanently cloudy. Definitely not the weather for Tessa's short dresses.

"Well, I'd like to say I get it but I'm already looking forward to wearing as many layers of clothes as possible." It was true. Not only did wrapping yourself up in sweaters and warm jackets feel way better than gambling whether or not your outfit would hold up to the dress code every day but it also meant wearing things I didn't feel exposed in.

Tessa stroked her long sleeved yellow dress and sighed. "Hmph, alright, you have a point. We're getting cozy stuff then."

I wondered whether Tessa would notice how much I hated shopping. Kat and Lacey never appeared to maybe that was just due to me being a pretty good liar. Or maybe she'd make it fun. So far nothing Tessa and I had done together had felt boring and I'd be happy to just watch her walk around the store. Which definitely wasn't normal. Probably creepy come to think of it. I had to remind myself that Tessa was a person and that I was making a fool of myself when I thought of her as this perfect creature. When I looked back up she had leaned over the table, her now empty plate shoved to the side. She was studying me, amusement flickering through the mock-seriousness of her furrowed eyebrows and slightly pursed lips.

"What?" I asked.

Tessa shook her head, smiling now. "Nothing. It's just fascinating to watch you think. You don't notice anything around you. And you look cute."
"Cute? Seriously?" I laughed as my heartbeat quickened ever so slightly.