Monster

A Short None-of-Your-Buinsness

Pain. Excruciating pain, everywhere, surrounding me, engulfing me. So much pain that I couldn't breath; the breath was caught in my throat, preventing me from screaming out. I slowly became aware of my surroundings. First there was white, bright light, and the smell of coffee and anti-septic. Then came the feeling of water, ice-cold stinging water.

"Drew...?"

Suddenly, the events of Dr. Nile came rushing back like a bad dream, leaving the taste of bile in my throat. James. JAMES. James. His name echoed through my mind; and it was so unreal and incomprehensible that he was dead that my brain wanted to explode in anger and sadness. It hit me like waves; James. Dead. James. Dead. Everything seemed too sudden, too scary. I didn't want to open my eyes to the voice--Charlies voice.

"Drew, its me, Charlie. Everything is OK now, you're safe." No, everything was NOT okay. My skin burned as if there were cuts all over it, but the worst thing was the emotional pain, that stuff that you feel right when someone breaks your heart, or you know your about to die, or you know something terrible and unspeakable has just happened. It felt as if there was tissue paper stuffed down my throat, I was having trouble swallowing because it would mean that James would really be dead, and this wasn't just a horrific dream.

"Drew, open your eyes. I know you're awake." Charlies voice was serious and tired.

At fist I let the light filter in through the pain, let it grow dimmer and dimmer until it no longer blinded me. Then I opened them fully, looking up at Charlies smiling face. At first I didn't' know where I was, and it didn't't even register that I was inside. Then I recognized the bathroom from my too-fancy hotel room.

I was in the bathtub, wearing a bikini (I was relived I wasn't naked in front of Charlie). The water was tinged red, and all my reflexes kicked in as I realized it was blood--a lot of blood. I took a huge gasp of air, trying not to sob or hiccup.

"Charlie." Was all I could manage. But he understood, understood that I needed to be explained to. My eyes glistened as he talked.

"We were so worried, Drew. I'm sorry. It is all my fault that you were shot--"

"How is Mrs. Anna?" I said quickly. If she had died, too, I wouldn't be able to take it.

"Sh'es fine. Just a bullet in the knee, but it'l heal in time. As I was saying, you were just dropped off in a white van, unconscious and soaked in blood by Dr. Nile. What...what happened?"

I realized that I was bleeding because of ME. I had wanted to piss off Dr. Nile because of James, and I had almost DIED. Charlie would have been devastated. I hiccuped.

"I--just--I was in a mall, with Dr. Nile--and James...he, he, tried saving me--and--it just--" I started sobbing uncontrolably, my breath catching in my throat. The water rippled as I hunched over, covering my face with my hands.

"Drew. Drew! It wasn't your fault, you can't control the Monster--please just listen..."

"The Monster? You think I killed him? It was--Dr--Nile. Dr. Nile." I sobbed, my head hanging low. Charlie took this in slowly.

The next few hours we mine and mine only. I could tell you what happened, but really? Do you want to hear about me crying and writing sad poetry in an ugly diary? I didn't think so. In fact, thats what the whole DAY was like. Whoever you are, you don't need to hear it. What matters was that James faded from my mind--definetly not completely, but enough that it didn't matter. And that is that.