Lost Addiction (Book 2)

Irked

It had been a week since we came back from York. I wasn't speaking as much as I usually would to Ruby and she was noticing it. She kept asking me what was wrong and I kept my answers short, telling her lies like "I'm fine" or "nothing's wrong." I know that I was blacked out drunk that gut-wrenching night, but I could remember the earlier part of it like it was yesterday. The way Ruby kissed that girl was as if she was in love with her, and then she had the nerve to go back with her to a hotel? Honestly, it reminded me when Ruby and I first hooked up. It was kind of the same way. 'Was I supposed to just be a one night stand?' I shook my head at that thought. 'That's ridiculous thinking. She asked me to be her girlfriend right after. I'm her one and only. She still loves me...right?'

The image of Ruby with the other girl was all that I could think about. Reality was not settling in and it was driving me crazy. I was starting to crumble and I needed to get out of the toxic environment. The only place that I felt like I could go to was with Papa and Natalie. It was sad to think that Italy was my last safe haven, but I wasn't going to try to spend another moment with a cheater and there was no way that I was going to go back to New York with Mom.

I called Papa's house and Natalie was the one to answer. "Hello," she said. I was so relieved that it was her instead of our father. So relieved that I burst out crying, the first time since that night. "N-Natalie," I choked up. "I-I need you!" I continued to cry and tried to speak, but my words were not clear. "Okay, relax Keira," Natalie responded. "Are you okay? Did someone hurt you?" I shook my head, not realizing that she couldn't see me over the phone. "Keira," she said. "I'm here," I answered back. "I just need to see you. Please. I need to come out there." I started to pull the back left portion of my hair like I always did as a child whenever I was feeling bothered. "Of course. Come. You know that this is your home." Home. She was right. That was my home. Australia was starting to feel foreign to me all over again. I didn't even know who Ruby was anymore. I didn't even know who I was anymore.
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Natalie embraced me tightly when I got off the plane. I did the same to her and I broke down again. I really did miss her and all of Italy. "I need a drink," I told her as we let go of each other. I never thought those words would ever come out my mouth and the way I said it sounded like I was desperate. Natalie looked surprised as well. "Wow, okay," she said. "Well let's head home and open a bottle of wine." With that, we each grabbed a suitcase and we headed to the villa.

The sound of the cork popping off the wine bottle was like music to my ears. Natalie poured us a glass and we sat at the table in the garden as the sun began to set over the vineyards. I closed my eyes as I smelled the wine and the fresh Italian air. This is what I needed. "I can't believe that I ever left this placed," I said to Natalie. "It's so beautiful here and peaceful. I rather live here then anywhere else." My sister smiled. "Why do you think I stay," she asked. I smiled back at her. It was the first time I smiled in a week. It felt great.

Natalie now looked serious as she set her wine glass down on the table. "So, what's been going on with you?" I stared out at the vineyard and sighed. "Remember when I told you how happy I was with Ruby a month ago?," I said. Natalie kind of giggled. "How could I forget," she responded. "You kept on rambling on and on about your new place and how in love you are with her." I nodded, but then I shook my head. "I was so wrong about her Nat," I said. Natalie sat up straight. "What do you mean? What happened?"

I looked at Natalie and told her everything. The more I spoke on it, the harder it was to think straight. "Like I know that it's only been six months into this relationship,"I said, "but we've done so much in that little time and never not once did I ever feel like I had to question my judgment on Ruby or what she does when she walks out the door." I chugged the rest of the wine that was in my glass cup. "Could you pour me some more please sis?"

Natalie looked a bit hesitant at my request. I was feeling just a tad bit buzzed from my first glass of wine, but I wanted (more like needed) another glass just to calm my nerves. I was getting upset all over again with just the thought of Ruby. I took another look at my sister. "Are you going to serve me, or do I have to do it myself?," I asked. Natalie sighed and poured me another glass. "Thanks," I said and drank one big gulp before looking out at the vineyard again. Natalie spoke after a few moments of silence. "So what are you thinking about doing," she asked.

To be honest, I actually didn't think about what I wanted to do other than leave my apartment for a few weeks. My mentality status was up, down, left, and right. It was hard to be focused with anything that I did other than drink alcohol. Drinking was starting to become a new normal to me since that night and it was the only thing that made any sense to me. "Well," I began, "I wanna say that I want to leave her, but I don't know. She's the first person that I ever fell in love with and now it's all ruined." I sighed and took another sip of wine. Natalie did the same then spoke. "Did you talk to your mom about it?"

It was like my nerves froze the moment Natalie mentioned Mom. I started to clench my glass a little tighter as I kept my eyes on the vineyard. "Could we not talk about her right now...or like ever," I asked. I could feel Natalie's eyes staring me down. "What happened this time?" I didn't respond. "Keira?" Still no word. "Keira Jayne, answer me." I looked at Natalie. "She's getting married to a complete jerk! That's what happened!" I chugged the rest of the wine in my glass and poured myself another glass. As I was going to chug it, my sister stopped my hand. "Hey." she said in a calm tone. "Slow down there." She took the wine glass from my hand and set it on the table. "You never told me that your mom was getting married. Come to think of it, you never talk about her at all anymore."

I kept my eyes on my wine. "There's nothing to talk about when it comes to her," I responded. Natalie shook her head. "Okay now it's time to get serious," she kind of snapped. "Has your mom's boyfriend done anything to you?" I sighed again. "Can we change the subject?" I reached for my wine when Natalie softly slapped my hand. "Getting drunk is not the answer." I wanted to snap back at her, but that wasn't going to solve the issue either. "Honestly, no he didn't do anything to me personally," I answered, "but he's..." I shook my head. I didn't want to go on. "He's what Keira," Natalie asked. I stood up. "I'm tired," I said while fake yawning. "The flight was exhausting."

I ran inside before I could let Natalie get a chance to say anything. I soon made it upstairs to my room and locked the door. 'Now Natalie is getting on my nerves' I thought to myself. Deep down, I knew that she was trying to tell me what was right, but I was too into my feelings to care. What was worse was the fact that Papa didn't even know that I was back home and I didn't want him to know the real reason why I was there. I threw myself across my bed and stared up at the ceiling trying to contemplate everything. I felt like a big old web all jumbled up into one and it was giving me a headache. "Fuck my life," I whispered to myself as I closed my eyes and soon drifted off to sleep.