Lost Addiction (Book 2)

A Step Back

Okay, so I know by now that I'm starting to sound like a total stubborn brat, but at the time that all of this was going on, life felt so miserable for me. I was not used to the constant change all around me and I just didn't know how to handle it. Now that I'm older, I can say that I'm way more mature about things, but as you read on, things went much worse for me as the years went on, so if you're still reading, you're in for a ride...
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Like I already knew, the lecture from Papa was long and dreading. He basically told me that Mom's engagement should have been a happy moment and that the fit I gave was unnecessary. I knew he was right, but I felt like I had to voice my opinion at the time. 'Gosh I'm so annoying...' Anyways, he also touched on my relationship with Ruby. He took my side (as he should). "...but, you should handle this problem head on instead of running from it," he said. "There's nothing wrong with taking your time to think it through, but you need to confront her. She did you wrong."

I sighed and laid my head on his shoulder. "I don't know how I should approach it," I responded. "I rather just stay here in Italy with you until I find my own place. I don't want to even be around her, let alone talk to her." I played with the small amount of hair in the back of my head. Papa noticed and moved my hand. "Stop that,' he jokingly snapped.  "You're going to be bald in that spot one day. Then what are you going to do when you can't pull on it anymore?" Papa then slightly scrunched down to where we were eye to eye. "Trust me when I say this. You confront her. She's probably going to give you every excuse in the book and it's up to you whether you believe her or not, but whatever you do, you tell her how you feel. Don't hold back. She's going to feel like a damn fool, and once you laid it all on the table, you're going to feel so much better." I shook my head. "How do you know that?" Papa half-smiled. "Like I said, trust me. Now, go call your sister downstairs. I'm going take us out to eat at Le Calandre."
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I stayed in Italy for another week. During that time Ruby kept calling and I answered every time. I lied about my reason for being in Italy; saying that I just came to visit family. What I really wanted to say to her needed to be said in person. When I finally got back to Sydney, Ruby was waiting for me by baggage claim with a bouquet of roses. That would have made me happy, but I felt like shit. I faked a small smile as I took the flowers. Ruby went in for a kiss, but I moved my face in time for her to kiss me on the cheek instead. She didn't seem too suspicious when I did that as she went on to help me with my suitcases.

The drive home was quiet. I kept my eyes out at the window as Ruby drove. Out of nowhere I felt her hand rub my thigh and then grabbed my hand to hold it. "I have a surprise for you when we get home," she said. I looked down at our hands and then I slowly turned to look at her. She had a smile on her face as she took a quick glance at me. At that moment, I realized that the person I was looking at was someone that I was still in love with, but why? She cheated on me and betrayed my trust. I kept replaying that night in my head, and then I started to replay the conversation I had with Papa. '...you're going to feel so much better.' I quickly looked back out the window and said nothing the rest of the drive home.

When we arrived, I had got out the car and looked at our apartment building. 'I don't want to go in there'  I thought to myself as I grabbed my things and slowly walked towards the building. It didn't even feel like home the moment I stepped inside. Everything was just there. The furniture was the same. The color of the walls were the same. Even the smell of the cinnamon diffuser we had was the same, but yet, it, along with Rudy, was all unfamiliar. I was getting more uncomfortable the more I walked in. Suddenly I felt Ruby's arms wrap around my waist from behind and my mind just went blank.

"I missed you baby," she said softly in my ear as she kissed my neck and held me closer. Her kisses gave me chills as my body refused to do anything but let her hold me. I somehow finally moved from her grasp and walked towards the kitchen counter. "You said there was a surprise for me," I asked, trying to change the subject. Ruby now looked confused, but then smiled. "Oh yeah," she responded. "It's in the room." As much as I didn't want to go in the room, let alone do anything but kick her ass, I slowly walked over and opened the bedroom door.