When Desire Takes Over ✔... ADVICE FOR COLLEGE & UNIVERSITY STUDENTS

Everybody Slips Up

Many people are very harsh with themselves. The feeling of guilt and regret leaves a big stain on ones heart; this stain can feel like a blemish upon ones record and life. The reality of this all is quite simply that everybody slips up. A person must understand this properly or there will not be much sweetness in worship. Many people complain that they feel too sinful to go the mosque or read the Qur'an; every time they think of doing wudu and engaging themselves in worship, they begin to remember all the sins that they have done and are consequently put off from doing any act at all. This is the result of a heavy heart.

The reason I am mentioning this here is because this feeling comes largely with relationships. Once a person enters into a relationship, it becomes part of his life until the relationship comes to an end. It is a spiritual ailment indeed but it is much like a physical ailment in its characteristics. For example, when a person has the flu, he will have to live with it, walk with it, travel with it until one day he uses medicine which is a means of bringing an end to this ailment. In the same way, when a person is in a relationship, his heart automatically begins to carry a weight of guilt and while he walks with his partner, lives with her in his life, travels with her and eats with her; his heart is effectively doing the same. The longer this continues, the bigger the weight of guilt becomes until eventually a person must cause an end.

Now, this is the point where a person slaps himself on the head and says, "Why did I do that for?!" Many people regret things in hindsight, this is because Allah increases a person's wisdom and maturity as he grows up and develops. The reality is that there are always lessons to take. For example, every year students make the transition from excited college kids to mature adults at university. If we were to go back to college for a few days to see the state of the people, the first thing that would strike us would be the immaturity of a large amount of people. The reality is, we ourselves were in that immature state but as we grew up, Allah gave us understanding and the ability to recognise past mistakes. This is a cycle of life and inshaa Allah when we are 70,80 year old we will get angry at all the youngsters for being too excited. Some of us are cranky as it is and so as time progresses, we should make dua that Allah keeps bashfulness and softness inside of us.

However, we must not forget the past years of our lives as they are instrumental in explaining who we are today. We must not look at the past and think that it is done and dusted but we should take lessons from the mistakes we have made and make sure that we do not return to them. It is only then they can be forgotten. Many people enter a new year, stuck in the mindset that we will make this year one which is fruitful but fail to assess why their previous years on this planet have been a shambles. As Allah says in the Qur'an, "So, relate the chronicles, so that they may ponder." Similarly, after narrating the entire story of Yusuf(peace be upon him) Allah says "Surely, in the narratives of these, there is a lesson for the people of understanding." Allah is relating the matters and issues of previous nations so that we take heed and learn where to change. I remember telling one person that in this examination of life, Allah is the examiner, the Qur'an & Sunnah is the marking criteria and the lives of the pious are the past papers from which we draw perfect answers. From this we understand that it is not just crucial to plan change for the coming years but to understand where we went wrong in previous years. inshaa Allah, through this, we will be able to rectify ourselves. When a student reads the Qur'an to a Qari, the Qari will highlight his student's mistakes with a pen and send him back so that he can rectify his recital before he proceeds to his next lesson. In the same way, we should highlight our mistakes to ourselves and then rectify them so that we can proceed into all walks of life confident of not making the same old errors as before.

We should also not bring this guilt into our life and live with constant regret. Yes, we should regret the seconds which we have wasted in the disobedience of Allah but this regret should be of a motivational nature. It should not be the case that we dwell on our frailties as a weak human being but rather we should instil a work ethic inside ourselves.

Imam Shafi' would say,

"The heart would not be called the heart if it did not change so rapidly and man would not be called man if he was not so forgetful." (Diwan)

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said,

"All of the sons of Adam are sinners but the best amongst those who sin, are those who constantly repent." (tirmidhi)

Similarly,

"The one who repents is like the one who did not sin (in the first instance)." (Mishkatul Masabih)

May Allah give us the ability to rectify ourselves and stay away from the mistakes we have promised not to return to.

Ameen.

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REMEMBER ME IN YOUR PRAYERS IN NEED OF THEM A LOT .