shut up

_4

- Kai -

It's been 3 days after that encounter with April. My old friend Nadia had invited me for drinks (alcohol) at one of those Korean style bars down in Koreatown, or K-town, as I like to call it. For the first time in forever, my reserved self actually said yes. After all, I do need something to distract me.

I put on my headphones as I walk down the avenue. It starts to drizzle, very lightly. Cold autumn rain. I draw my hood over my head as I continue walking. The bar should be crowded, loud and obnoxious, like all bars are. I remember all the times I turned down Ryan's invitations to The Offbeat. But as of this moment, noise is perfect. I can't wait.

- April -

Nadia called me in the evening inviting me to a bar in Koreatown with a friend of her's. I'm open to anything, after the fun things that happened last week. Besides, I'd like to break out of my shell. Who knows, I might meet my new best friend. Koreatown is less than a mile from my house, so I cycle there on my trusty pink bike. I like it, it's light and trendy (at least it is to me). As I cycle down Adams Boulevard, I inadvertently catch a glimpse of Charli. I wave my hand slightly to say hello, but she ducks her head down and turns away. I'm not sure what it is with her, but everytime I meet her in public, she acts like she doesn't know me. Is that something popular people do? I don't really know. And now it's starting to rain. Not violent, angry heavy rain, but soft and light. Autumn is saving up it's rain for snow in the winter.

Sitting at the very end of the counter is kind of lonely. The row of bar stools beside me are vacant, since most bar-going people are having what looks like a blast on the dancefloor. Nadia's with them, having fun like the social butterfly she is. Is this even a Korean style bar? I'm pretty sure Koreans are more docile than this. Shame.

Nadia's always been like this, ever since we were in elementary school. She's just how I remembered her: sarcastic, funny, thoughtful, and always giving good advice. I'm glad I have at least one valuable friend in here. In elementary school, I was a shy kid. I stuck to the few friends I did have like glue and wouldn't make friends with anyone else. Then I met Nadia, and she was really good to me. We just clicked together. It was unlikely because we were so different in personalities. But we just did.

Somewhere along the road, we went to different high schools and kind of lost touch. And then I bumped into her at the vegetable market nearby. We exchanged numbers, and here we are again. It's a nice kind of nostalgia to remember elementary school days, when everything was so repetitive and fun. I don't like change very much.

The bell on the glass door tinkles softly, a nice soft yet sharp sound that cuts right through the pulsing music. I lift my head from my bowl of ramyeon and glance towards the door.

Is that the friend Nadia was talking was talking about? Oh... it's a guy. I don't think I should be looking, so I go back to eating my ramyeon.

- Kai -

I push past the sweaty bodies on the dance floor. A hand grabs me from the corner and pulls me. I flinched and pulled my hand away. I'm looking to distract myself. I never meant to enjoy myself. I make my way to the counter. The bartender gives me a half smile. I know I look weary, my eye bags are more apparent these days. You can't blame my angsty teenage self. Things are just rough at home, so sometimes I can't fall asleep. The rain helps though. The same "pit-a-pat, pit-a-pat" on the roof calms me. It helps drown out the other unnecessary noises too.

Nadia waves at me from the throng of dancing kids. I wave back. That's Nadia, Right at the end of the counter, far from the chaos, is a girl. She's sitting alone, looking into the distance, her fingers resting on a pair of chopsticks. I know this girl. It makes sense, Nadia told me she knew her since elementary school. This is April.

I'm happy to see her, I always am. But I don't know how to face her this time.

"Soju please. C1 Blue brand."

April gapes at me, and then turns away quickly, pursing her lips. Upon getting her glass of soju, she gulps it down and winces. She downs mine too. I don't object. I don't want to get drunk.

Soon, Nadia saunters over, drunk as a sailor. She wraps her arms around the both of us and sighs. Ugh, her breath smells like alcohol.

"Guysssss! I see you've met. Go on, go on! Get cozy!"

She pushes us toward each other. Both of us grimace at Nadia's persistence.

six glasses later_

Nadia is yelling like a maniac and even the drunks are looking at her sideways. April's cheeks and ears are flushed red and she laughs at anything, even the bartender. As for me, I quietly sign an apology to the other drinkers. April raises her glass with trembling hands.

"Ahahaa~~ geonbae!"

Nadia clinks her glass against April's and they collapse on the table, laughing hysterically. I look around nervously. Finally, Nadia's brother decides to show up and take her home. Nadia blows kisses to both of us as she leaves, to the satisfaction of the other drinkers.

Afterwards, we sit in silence.

"I wanna go home."

aft.

We're walking down a street slick with rain. It's peaceful, and a scent of petrichor lingers in the air. Puddles dot the road, and April makes it a point to stomp in them. Her bike that I'm dragging around is making this ding-ding-ding sound. She's drunk, but she's still shivering in that thin white shirt of her's.

I reluctantly pull off my jacket with my free hand and wrap it around her. It's way too big for her, but it'll do. Finally, she breaks the silence.

"Kai... who are you?"

I momentarily remember the look in her eyes last Sunday. Vacant, empty. Now I know what she means.

"That's a good question, April."