Have I Told You Lately? (l.s)

twenty-nine

16.12.18

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Extending an olive branch is a lot easier said than done, was something Harry discovered over summer. There was no manual on how to do it, no guidebook with a starting sentence of an apology. It was something that had to be done naturally, from the heart, with no input from anyone else. But fear of rejection played such a big part in many circumstances that it made it even harder to do. 

He hadn't spoken to Louis at all over summer and even though Niall continually encouraged him to do so, he couldn't gather up the courage. A lot of his time he'd spent moping and even though he'd enjoyed his holiday, he couldn't help but think about Louis. What made it worse was that before they'd split up, the two had spoken regularly and made elaborate plans on how they'd visit each other in the summer and spend as much time together as they could. So every time Harry did something alone that he'd planned to do with Louis, it hurt. The best thing he had to offer was an owl he'd sent at the beginning of July, a short note saying sorry for everything that had happened and wishing Louis a good summer holiday. He hadn't received any reply. 

Mid August, on the 23rd, an official school owl had come through carrying envelopes holding the result of Harry's O.W.L exams and Gemma's N.E.W.T.s. To his delight, Harry had received all the necessary results in order to carry on the subjects he needed to become a healer, his highest being an O in Potions. Finding out his results instantly made him wonder how Louis did and he hoped with all his heart that the other boy was pleased with what had met him on the inside of his letter. 

They may have been split up for nearly 3 months but Harry knew for a fact that the next time he saw Louis, his heart rate would most likely double and he'd probably not be able to hold himself back from talking to the other boy, it was just inevitable. Every day ever since they'd ended things, he'd wanted Louis back and he doubted that a day had gone by that he hadn't thought about him. His biggest worry was if Louis still felt the same, he knew that the other boy wouldn't be willing to let things go back to the way they were before, but he hoped that if he maybe changed his tune, Louis would want him back. 

Their separation had given Harry a lot of time to think and in that time he'd come to somewhat of a conclusion in regard to his feelings. The reason he had been so against being open with his and Louis' relationship was because he was unsure. He was unsure about whether or not things would last and he was unsure about what he would even call his feelings, but now that he'd been apart from Louis for so long, his unsure was beginning to be sure. Relationships had never really been a thing for him and when they'd been discussed or thought about it had always just been assumed by everyone that he would end up with a pretty Hufflepuff girl, not a pretty Slytherin boy. 

Judgement hadn't even really been a fear for him, at the end of the day he knew that the people who cared about him most wouldn't be bothered, it was mostly just the unknown of the situation that bothered him. He wished that he was able to tell all of this to Louis, but from the lack of reply he'd received when he contacted him previously, things weren't looking good. 

However, even if he and Louis weren't going to get back together, he knew he had to be honest about everything that had gone on and was still going on. His mum and Niall were the main priorities for him in that respect, which was why as soon as he'd received his results and had a surge of confidence, he sent Niall a message containing only six words, 'I need to talk to you.' He knew the lack of context was most definitely ominous and slightly worrying but like the good friend he was, Niall asked no questions and replied that he'd be ready to talk. 

As he had done for the last two years, Niall was due to stay at Harry's from the 26th of August until the 1st of September when they went back to school together, so they'd talk then. Which really only left the afternoon and evening of the 25th for Harry to talk to his mum.