Reflections

Part I-Chapter IIII

~Leonard Neal(Victor's Father)~

This morning, Victor's behavior shocked me completely. He's never yelled like that to anyone, what set him off? He looked as though he were going to pass out last night, then in the morning when we check on him, he acts completely arrogant, yet confident. What changed him so suddenly? No one can be altered that much all in one night. What set him off?

"Leo, are you alright?" My loving wife asked as she came into the dining room with coffee.

Physically, I was in shape, but mentally, I was dumbfounded. I nodded and took a sip of her coffee, and I felt instantly better.

"Yes, I'm alright, just trying to decipher about Victor's actions from this morning." I replied to her and frowned.

She gave me a comforting hug and kissed me on the forehead. After she sat down next to me and drank a bit of her coffee, we began our discussion.

"We need to talk about him." She started. "You two haven't been getting along, and I know it bothers him too. He feels guilty everytime he disrespects or disappoints you."

I know I tend to be rough on him, especially when he can barely speaks straight with me. I can't help it, it frustrates me when he stutters. It burns me up when he's so frightful of his own father. It hurts me when he can't talk to me like he does with my wife. I looked down at the table and sighed.

"What can I do? He literally has a major phobia of me."

"He wants to make you proud, can't you see that?" She pleaded. "He's afraid to let you down."

Suddenly, Victor's remark he shot at me this morning relapsed in my mind. Don't you care that you make me feel like a failure sometimes? Why should I be considerate if you can't even do that for me, your own son?"

His words were knives that tore up even the healthiest heart. I never knew that was how much aggression he carried deep within him.

"He said that I made him feel like a failure." I said.

"No wonder, you rarely praise him. When you're not here, he works to the brim." The fire in her eyes were visible.

Her words are very bold and spark almost anyone's ears. I raised my head and sat in a more upright position. She had a valid point, I don't praise him as much as I should, but it's hard to praise someone who's can't even smile around me.

"He doesn't even feel comfortable with me! Even before I utter a word, he's already uneasy." Frustration was growing dense.

"You don't allow him to let down his defences, Leo." She sighed. "Hun, I love you, but you need to consider his feelings."

"Tina, how do I approach him?" I pleaded.

She smiled and reached for my hand.

"Just smile! Lord, just smile when he looks at you!" She exclaimed. "It doesn't take much!"

Smile? That's it? Is she sure?

"Valentina, are you sure?" I carefully asked.

She shoved me and laughed.

"Yes, Leonard, I'm positive."

I sighed. Valentina always was good at handling these situations. Even as kids, she always knew what to do when situations were arduous. I don't think I'd be here, alive and happy without my ocean-eyed spouse.

Tomorrow, I head back to work and I'll be gone for about a month. Should I try and fix the fences tonight or let it wait? Would Victor be willing to listen or is he still too upset? If I were in his shoes, would I want to prick my ears up right away?

"Hun, shouldn't you pack for tomorrow?" She reminded me. "I'll gladly help you."

I nodded, then finished my coffee, and headed to our room to organize everything. My job as a traveling businessman is tiring, but I've got to provide for my family. A true champion does what is best for their kin, no matter how difficult. That's what my father used to say.

Tina handed me all of the clean laundry to add to my bag and my imperative electronics. We came across one item of clothing that paused the busy moment. It was scarlet with the words, 'Vivir la vida con me' written in white. My blood rushed as I remembered this shirt. Yes, it was the same shirt I wore when I had asked Valentina to marry me. Over the bridge of a river in our hometown, that's when I made the decision.

She smiled at me, then turned on the radio to play smooth, graceful music. She put her left hand on my shoulder and the other on my left hand, then her feet moved right to left. This was the same slow dance we pulled off at our wedding. I caught the rhythm and we danced for ten minutes.

After we finished packing, I headed to the office to get some financing done. Before I went there, I stopped by Victor's room and looked inside. It was relatively clean, but he had books and papers all over his desk. I closed his bedroom door and went to the office.

Hours went by and it was nearly time to take the kids home. I usually take Helena home and Tina takes Victor from Track practice. However, a part of me wondered whether to take Victor home this time around, so that I may negotiate with him or not? He may still be upset. Suddenly, a knock came upon the door and Tina entered.

"Leo, it's time to head out." She told me.

"Tina dear, should I take Victor home today?" I apprehensively asked her.

She shook her head and said,

"Give him time. That outburst is something that had been building for a while, but I promise that things will be better."

I weakly grinned, then hugged her on my way out.

Helena spotted my car and came in. She always wears her long hazel hair in a braid or ponytail. After she sat herself in her seat, we began talking about this morning again.

"Dad, do you know why Victor..." She spoke but stopped. Confusion was written all over her face. She was trying to find the right words, but before she could say anything, I spoke.

"I know the way Victor was acting wasn't normal or right, but I know it's my fault."

She exhaled, then looked out the window. Most of the ride was in silence just like when I drive Victor. I usually do speak with my daughter during the ride, but I kept pondering about Victor's words.

Why should I be considerate? Don't you care that you make me feel like a failure sometimes?

Why should I be considerate if you can't even do that for me, your own son?

WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ME? YOU'RE OUT OF TOWN MORE THAN HALF THE YEAR!

Did I truly cause this much damage?

"Helena, could you do me a favor?" I broke the stillness.

She nodded and waited for the next sentence.

"Could you try to closely observe Victor while I'm gone? Not spy on him, but make sure he doesn't get into serious mischief." I said. "I think his new attitude is going to last for awhile, but he still needs to know we care."

"I'll do it." She replied with an obedient tone. "I'll have you know that Victor isn't exactly an open book."

She was correct, he's not an open book. He's a large diary with a rusty lock that's difficult to penetrate. The only person who he seemingly lets his guard down would be Tina. Mother-Son storge I suppose. I pray that both of them together can help me make things better.