"i need something to take away the remains of your name."
in which two high school sweethearts just get out of serious realationships and find their way back to each other.
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That same night that Hayden was with Ansel, Timothée was just down the street in his apartment, staring at the only picture he had of Hayden Fitzgerald. It was taken back in high school, and she was sitting on a wood fence, an empty field in the background. The time was dusk, and the sunlight was just hitting her perfectly that it made her blond hair look even blonder. He was so captivated by her then, and he still was, even years later.
Hayden and Timothée started dating when they were sophmores in high school. He had just turned sixteen, and she was still fifteen. From the moment he saw her first day of freshman year, he knew he loved her. He still did, to this day. Even though he had relationships after her, nothing measured up to what he had with Hayden.
When Hayden told him she wanted to move to Los Angeles with him, he immediately said yes. He would have done anything with her, for her. When the time came that they were about to leave, he panicked. He loved her, he truly did, but something made him stop and want to stay. The biggest regret of his life was not going with her, and if he did, they would probably be married now. That whole though seemed crazy to him, that he could have had a whole lifetime by the time he was twenty-two.
He felt terrible about what he did. He was just a scared, eighteen-year-old kid who was too young and scared for that type of commitment. For months after, he was so heartbroken, even though he was the one who did the breaking. He stopped acting, and he stopped caring. It wasn't until Call Me By Your Name when he realized that he loved acting again. After that movie, his career suddenly took off. He had been nominated for an Oscar, and he got so many opportunities to be in projects with such big stars, it didn't seem real. Everything was so perfect, except for her.
He wasn't surprised when he heard Hayden was making her way in thd film industry. She was so talented, she was good at anything she tried. The first movie he saw her in was Baby Driver with Ansel, and he was blown away by her performance. She always had a flair for the dramatic, but it looked like she had been doing this her whole life, and he envied her for that.
He missed her. He thought about her everyday. It felt like she had died, but he knew she was still out there living her life and being happy without him, and that killed him. He wanted to be there throughout life's great moments, and maybe he would be one day, but for now, all he can do is sit and think about the life he could have had with her.
