Again

Chapter 1

Why do I let this keep happening?

Those were the words Kayla Martins asked herself every time she found herself in bed with Zac Hanson. Rather, he seemed to always find his way into hers. She knew it was wrong. He had a girlfriend. And according to his mother, they were pretty serious. Somehow, though, Kayla always seemed to put that thought out of her mind when she was with Zac. It wasn't that it didn't bother her, but in here head, Kate was the other woman, not her. She'd been the one around for years, and Kate was the newbie. She and Zac had shared years of friendship and closeness way before Kate even came into the picture.

"If anyone should feel betrayed, it's me," she thought to herself. In a way, it was true. Kayla and Zac had had many fights about it but it all came down to the same thing; Zac had chosen Kate. The fans knew about Kate. He'd publicly stated that Kate was his girlfriend. So it didn't matter how long Kayla had been around. She knew, if anyone ever found out about she and Zac, she'd be the one branded with the scarlet letter, not Zac and definitely not Kate.

"Hey what are you thinking about?" Zac asked seemingly out of nowhere, pulling Kayla out of her thoughts and back to reality. He knew it could be dangerous to ask her that question. He never really knew what she was thinking these days, but no matter what it was, he knew that good, bad or otherwise she'd let him know.

"Kate," Kayla finally responded flatly. "Here we go," Zac thought to himself. He quickly tried to figure out a way to get out of the conversation. Lately it seemed like all he and Kayla did was have sex and fight about Kate.

"Kayla, please don't. I'm leaving in a few days, can't we just not fight, at least until then?" Zac asked as he started to get out of bed. He wasn't going anywhere, and they both knew it. Even thought his room was only a few feet away, Zac always ended up staying the night in Kayla's room.  It was a cold January morning and he would have loved nothing more than to stay in bed until he was due at his parents' house later that day to help set up for his dad's birthday party.  Instead, he began grabbing at his clothes that had been tossed on the floor the night before.  He set them on a pile on the bed and sat with his back to Kayla as he started getting dressed.

"I was talking to your mom today," Kayla continued, her voice much softer than she had intended, "She said Kate's coming to the party today?" Kayla stared as Zac finished putting on his socks and paused.  He slipped his jeans on before turning around to look at her.  He paused again as he stared at her for a moment.  In that moment he realized how much he missed Kayla; the old Kayla.  He missed when they'd laugh and hang out and watch movies until the sun came up.  When she was still his best friend.  Before he had hurt her so much.

"Yes, she's coming. She called the other day and my mom invited her after she found out she didn't have any plans," Zac finally replied. It was the truth; it hadn't been his idea.

"And what would she think if you said, 'Hey mom, I wasn't planning on inviting Kate' right?" Kayla quickly replied. There was the attitude she was looking for earlier.

Zac remained silent for a moment.  He knew he was to blame for the situation they were in, but he was getting tired of the same routine.  It was becoming exhausting, "You don't have to keep doing this, you know?" he said, sounding somewhat defeated.

"I don't have to do what?" asked Kayla.

"This," Zac replied, finally pulling his tee-shirt on and around his torso. He motioned to the space between the two of them him with his hands. "If you are so unhappy, we don't have to keep doing this," he finished, emphasizing his last word. Kayla wasn't sure what to say or how to feel. In the last two years things between the two of them had changed drastically. She knew it was partly her own fault for allowing it but she knew that he was equally to blame. He'd spent countless nights fighting with her trying to get her to see that he loved her as much as he always had. "We are just in a 'bad situation," he would say to her. All the while both knowing that although it was a bad situation, it was one they'd both essentially been okay with. Zac loved Kayla. He had for the last 10 years and when they'd both given into their feelings for each other, neither of them thought it would be short lived.