I woke up thinking about things that started bothering me weeks ago.
"Papaano kaya yung ganun, nahuhulog na ko sa kanya. This can't be happening. Kakahiwalay pa lang namin ni Gerald last April then he came along.."
Talking to myself again.
I get my phone and chineck ko kung may nakaalala ba sakin ngayong araw.
Blue led light, from my LG G3 phone na regalo sakin ni Papa for my 19th birthday.
Siya yun. Nagtext sya. But why?
Mom suddenly went to my bedroom.
"Bea, ang aga mo ngayon ah. Anong meron? Don't tell me may lakad ka na naman?"
"Ma, wala po. Nagising lang talaga akong maaga. Ang weird nga actually."
Tinitigan nya lang ako. She's worried, nakita ko sa mga mata nya. Then she left and didn't say any words after ko sumagot.
Sumunod na ko sa kanya pababa.
Breakfast with mom, sobrang bihira to mangyari.
By the way, bago ko nga pala guluhin ang utak nyo at isama kayo sa nakakabaliw na kwento ko, I would like to introduce myself.
I am Beatrice Del Roza Concepcion. 19 years old. Only child kaya medyo sunod sa layaw. Pero minsan lang naman. My parents are already divored. May other family na si Papa. Nakabukod na sya samin.. so that means, kami na lang ni Mama magkasama sa bahay. Sa mga susunod na pangyayari, magpapakilala pa ko laloat makikilala nyo rin ang mga tao sapaligid ko.
Few hours after I woke up..
Goodmorning, bes. I'm sorry nakatulog ako. I just thought about something, maybe I should stop this craziness and dumistansya na lang sa kanya.
I texted my bestfriend since highschool.
After we graduated from highschool, we went to different universities. I decided to study at UP-Diliman kahit na pumasa ako sa Benilde at DLSU.
Siguro pagiging praktikal kaya mas pinili ko mag-state university.
While my bestfriend, Mia, went to University of Santo Tomas. Mia Antoinette Trino is her full name. Very feminine di ba? Haha.
I'm taking up Fine Arts and she is taking up Business Economics. May pagkakaiba kami pero we have a lot of similarities. Kaya nga kami naging mag-bestfriends eh. ;)
Hi, bes! Uhm, ikaw bahala sa desisyon mo. Basta ako, I'm here for you. Choose your happiness, bes. Haha. Kunsintidor na kung kunsintidor pero alam mo naman if what's wrong and what's right.
Mia replied.
At lalo lang nagulo ang utak ko. What the hell.
At last, nagkalakas din ako ng loob to check his text since kaninang umaga.
Text mo ko pagkagising mo ha! Sorry nakatulog ako kagabi. Good morning! :)
I didn't reply. Siguro tatahimik na muna ako. Di muna ako magpaparamdam.
Di ako makakain ng maigi. Wala akong gana. I am craving for something sweet. Wala akong gana to eat meat and rice.
What is happening to me? And why am I overthinking?
That blue led light.. Pinapakaba ako lagi.
It simply means he texted me, Kristoff Javelona.
Kakakilala ko lang kay Kristoff weeks ago. After ng break up namin ni Gerald.
Pano kami nagkakilala?
Summer, I went out with my college friends. Kasama nila si Kristoff nun. At first, di ko sya kinakausap syempre we still don't know each other that time.
Days after I met him, my friend, Jaena Paz, texted me.
Hinihingi ni Kristoff yung number mo. Bigay ko ba? Kinukulit ako.
Jaena was one of my college friends na nagpakilala sakin kay Kristoff.
"Why daw? Sige bigay mo na lang para tumahimik."
She warned me when I replied.
"Pag tinext ka, wag ka magpapadala ha."
Buong araw akong walang ginawa, dahil wala akong gana. Walang pasok at hindi ako gumala. Nag'stay lang ako sa bahay, nag-isip isip. At nung bandang 11:30 ng gabi...
Blue led light, again. Oh no.
"Bea!!!! :)"
I replied.
"Hello, sorry I wasn't able to reply. Marami lang ginawa. :)" Kahit wala naman akong ginawa at tumunganga lang, HAHA.
I shouldn't reply. I must stop texting him.
You know why? Alam mo ba kung bakit ako nahihirapan??
