Girls

9. Girl Friends (pt. 2)

****Mariah's POV****

I was in front of the mirror in my room putting a pair of earrings in my ears, when the bedroom door opened and startled me. I jumped and dropped the back of one of the earrings, then I turned to see Billie walking in.

"Shit, you scared me! I thought you were Mama or Daddy!" I frowned, placing my hand over my heart.

"What were you doing anyway?" Billie questioned, walking over to me.

"I was trying to put these earrings on, but I dropped the back on the floor. I'll be here all night looking for that damn thing." I answered, getting on the floor and trying to locate the earring back.

"Watch your mouth, girl! Where did you pick up all this swearing?" Billie asked me.

"I'm almost 17 years old, Billie....17 year olds swear. It's not that serious, really." I mumbled, rolling my eyes. I continued to look for the back of the earring and eventually saw it under the dresser, so I grabbed it and stood back up. I put the back on the earring that was in my ear, turning around as I did, and I saw that Billie had picked up the blue baseball jersey that I had laid on my bed.

"Mariah....whose jersey is this?" Billie questioned, her eyebrow raised.

"Give me that! I need to put it on for tonight!" I whined, taking the jersey out of her hands.

"Are you seeing a boy at school, Mariah? Is this the same baseball player that Daddy punished you over?"

"And so what if I am? Damn, why does everybody in this house care so much about who I'm dating?!" I spat, feeling myself growing increasingly annoyed at Billie's interrogation.

"Mimi....you don't have to hide it from me. You know that I wouldn't rat you out to Mama or Daddy....I mean, you and me have always had each other's backs when nobody else in the house did." Billie nearly whispered, causing my face to soften up. I realized by the look on her face that I might have hurt her feelings a bit by giving her such attitude, so I sighed as I looked at her. Billie was always my favorite sibling, and she always understood my desire for freedom even though she didn't necessarily share that same desire (or at least not to the same extent).

"I know, Billie....I-I didn't mean to snap at you. I-It's just....I really like this person, a-and it's so wrong. My feelings are so wr-wrong, Billie....." I told her, tearing up a little. The day that I met Olivia and our hands touched, I remember the pit of my stomach warming in a way that I had never experienced before. At first, I thought that feeling came from how much freedom and liberty she had to do what she wanted and that I just had a lot of admiration for her. The more time I spent with Olivia, however, the more I realized that I wanted nothing but to spend every bit of my free time with her. I realized that every time she spoke, or every time I thought of her, that same warm feeling I had initially would come back even more intensely. I liked Olivia, and I had a secret desire to be much more than her friend....and I was taking my frustrations out on Billie because she was conveniently there.

'Why me, God? As if my life wasn't frustratingly difficult enough, why did I have to develop a crush on a girl?'

"Because it's not a boy at our church? Mimi, Mama and Daddy will eventually get over it an-" Billie started, and I shook my head.

"You don't understand!! It's more than because this person doesn't go to the church!! B-Billie, you won't understand.....Mama and Daddy would h-hate me if they knew the kind of feelings I-I'm having right now. I-I'm not supposed to feel this way about this person." I interrupted, putting the baseball jersey on. I buttoned the jersey, refusing to look at Billie because I didn't want her to see my tears and I didn't want to look her in the eye in fear that she actually understood what I was unwilling to verbally admit to her.