Stars,
I'm sorry but it isn't to you this time.
This is To the boy I can't call best friend anymore,
"Ex- best friend,
I hope you're doing well. And I hope you stay that way. I'm finding ways to love myself to fill the void that is there. The void of you missing. It's a huge gap in my life that I haven't figured out yet, but I'm doing it, I'm thriving, I'm not okay but I'll be okay. You'll never see these letters so I'll just be a bloop and let everything out.
The last 10 months has been the most emotionally damaging year on me. It was so hard on me. Nothing was hard when you were around though. you were my rock, and nothing was going to change that, fuck other girls you're mine not theirs.
For days on end I was on the edge ready to jump. I don't know if you forced yourself to say I love you to me that first night you saw me on the edge. But I still can't tell if it's real or not that night.
I held you up so many nights, when your anxiety was at its worst, when I was crying over anything I would still make an effort to keep you happy. You stopped needing my help in April of 2018, and started going to other people to hold you up.
I still am mad at you because of that, you knew I was there and I wasn't pushing you away, I was waiting. But you went to them and that was the downfall.
I need you to do one more thing for me,
I need you to find someone to save this year, not a charity case, but someone who you genuinely care about and love and save them from anything bad that comes before them. Please love them and care about them like I did for you. I need you to do it for me.
shut the hell up about still loving me, you broke all promises for two charity spoiled ass brats. I still love you. But I could care less if you did care about that statement. Fuck you
-zn "
