The Shocker

Chapter 7 -- Heart to Heart

"Sonja. Sonja! Wake up"

"What? Oh Chris."

"We feel asleep. I hear Tammy's shower. We need to get out of here."

"Well let me at least leave her a note. I'll meet you down stairs"

A few minutes later.

"Okay. I'm ready for a shower myself." Sonja says.

"I'm starved. I hardly ate all day. I didn't know how you would react to my ruse. So did you make plans for today Percy?" I ask.

"Well no. I thought that I would be spending it with Tammy. Did you have plans for me?"

"Well sort of"

"And?" Sonja asks a little irritated. "Can we go get cleaned up first?"

"Percy. Where do you want me to drop you off at?"

"I'm staying at Loretta's. Why don't you just pick me up there as well?"

"Oh Chris."

"Yes?"

"How should I dress?"

"Just casual. I'm going to wear jeans."

"I take it that you have a plan?" she asks.

"Yes, but can you just be surprised?"

"Sure."

"Then I'll see you about 11."

"Hi Loretta." Sonja says as she comes through the front door.

"Hello yourself. I kept the light on for you."

"I'm sorry. I, we, fell asleep."

"By that look on your face I take it that you are not talking about Tammy."

"No Chris and I fell asleep" I say and as I responded I felt the blood rush to my face.

"So he finally told you?" she asks. "Don't look at me like that Sonja. I've known for a long time that there were some feelings there. He's changed. Tried to hide it but Dwayne's shooting affected us all. He attempts to be happy. I see him laughing with the rest of the team and then watch as he quietly retreats to himself. Christopher got touchy even with me. I saw him watching Rita and Dwayne one day and I could see the envy in his eyes.

"Your leaving took him by surprise. He's had a long time to think since you have been gone. Tammy's response to your leaving made him feel guilty. You're a catch Ms. Thing! Men have a biological clock too. He's watching it count down. He knows he made a mistake and certainly feels that he can't fix it."

"Woman to woman – you have a lot to say about his ending. I'm almost old enough to be your mother. I've seen situations like this all my life. I have friends who have been married since we graduated college shoot, I have two friends who married a month after high school and are still married. I can only share my life experience.

"Marriage/partnerships are difficult. Finding that special someone can be difficult. I look at you both and see many things that you have in common. Foremost is that you are both fearless and you love your profession. Also you are both kind. My suggestion is to let those two points be a foundation for what you might want."

"Maybe you might want to consider a re-start on your side of it. Go upstairs and take a shower and let the pain go down the drain. You already know what a wonderful person he is. Get to know him. I suspect he will be a little more open to you invading his space now. He was surprised to find out that your feelings for him went that deep. They always say that absence makes the heart grown stronger."

The same goes for you. While you might not be as ready since this just kind of fell into your reality the past few hours leave the door open if you think that your heart can be open to him. And Sonja. Just remember that deployed families maintain their relationships for months, years and sometimes two decades. Long distance is just a few miles and it doesn't have to be permanent."

"Thanks Loretta." I say "I'm a little confused right now. I wasn't expecting this at all. I have tried very hard to put Christopher LaSalle out of my mind and definitely out of my heart. I can't help compare him to the new men that I have met the past few months. I have gone out with baseball players, accountants, actors, diplomates and even a professional model. I have a thing about men. They always think they are superior to me. I guess because I'm so tall. But I have a brain and I excel at my profession. The men I worked with at NCIS seemed to be among the few that accept that. When I first met Pride, he depended on me to give him accurate information. He trusted my judgement and allowed me to formulate plans affecting entire operations."

Three hours later.

"Hello Ms. Loretta. It's good to see you."

"Its' good to see you too Christopher. I haven't seen a smile like that on your face for over a year."

"Well, what can I say "I respond as I look quickly down at the floor?

"Hey Chris. I'm ready" Thank goodness Sonja appears.

We stopped to pick up lunch and found our way to the Louis Armstrong Park. The afternoon passed quickly as we laughed and talked. It didn't take long for the direction of the conversation to turn serious. It would be untruthful to say that tears only came from Sonja.

We had not talked since King was shot. I finally allowed my distress to show while talking with this old friend. For months I had to be strong. King's first mission back with us gave me grave concerned. I approached him and the primary suspect at the end of a long timed chase. He didn't look himself. I really thought he was going to pass out. Fear came over me that he might well have gotten shot if I had not arrived at that specific moment.

Sonja finally told me how hurt she was that I had turned her back when she suggested that we might try for something between us. I kept reminding her that it wasn't too late to try. She almost screamed at me why I waited so long. Then came the dam of tears as she told me how she had tried to erase me from her heart and then had to revisit that hurt again when she realized that she could not.

We left the park and stopped to eat at one of her favorite stops. Then we went dancing at a couple of our favorite places. She would never have slowed danced with me in the past but did so that night. I thought she fit just perfectly in my arms. She kept pulling away to put some distance between us and finally loudly protested that she would just sit down if I persisted to bring her too close. "I'm not ready for this Chris".

Sonja got a call from Tammy to make arrangements for Sunday.

We had breakfast with Tammy and then went to find another quiet place to talk. I wasn't sure where today was going to end, but Sonja was taking the 'red eye' back to D.C.

In the end we did not make a decision except that Sonja would check her calendar and that I would fly out to D.C. when she had a week available. She did let me kiss her goodbye like a real 'girlfriend' at the airport.

I stood at the window until I could no longer see the aircraft. I had a long drive out to the house and was able to remind myself that she did not close the door completely. We talked nearly every day for a week. One morning I got a 'hey you' that I needed to go to the SKIF for a secure call. There stood Sonja.

"I'm sorry Chris. I have to go off the radar for a while. I just wanted you to know that I wasn't ignoring you. I look forward to your coming to D.C. when I get back.

"Tell Tammy I said hello but that's all you can say.

"Bye Country Mouse."

"Goodbye Sonja and keep your head down" I replied.