The Shocker

Chapter 8 - When Words Fail

It seemed like an eternity and finally one afternoon there was a text from Sonja. Tammy and I were on a stakeout when my phone dinged.

"Well what put that smile on your face" Tammy asked?"

"It's Percy with some dates for me fly out to D.C." I replied

Two weeks later I made my way to D.C. Sonja couldn't meet me at the airport so I took an Uber to the address that she gave me. The Concierge gave me a pass key after I provided my I.D. The condo was sleek and modern.

I was doing my duty when Chris arrived. We were awaiting an aircraft carrying the body of an agent. This was second time that I stood in this hanger and it was no easier than the first. The hardest part of this was that I knew this man. We had worked together on one of my first missions. Since he was in active service and was a veteran he was entitled to burial with military honors. His funeral would be held on Wednesday with his burial at Arlington. Some would find my description of the next thirty minutes as morbid but I found the pomp and circumstances enchanting.

My saving grace through the afternoon was that I knew that Christopher would be waiting for me when I got home. I had a lot of time to think flying so far away the past few weeks. I missed the security of home. In some ways these assignments were just as bad as the time I spent undercover. My social life was limited. Unlike the NCIS missions, I did not know the individuals who I had to depend on to keep me safe. I missed the closeness of Brody, Tammy and LaSalle. I knew it was bad when I found myself even missing Mr. Motor mouth Sabastian. I really did love the New Orleans weather in contrast to the cold, ocean breeze snow from the many bodies of water in the northeast.

Chris's visit to D. C. forced that issue wide open. No one could ever have told me that I would have allowed him into my bed. I was ready for him to present a formidable case of why we should be together but I had decided even before he arrived that a long distance relationship was not in the cards.

But then again, I could never have anticipated Mark's death in Algeria. I went to the airfield to meet the aircraft when his body was returned to Andrews Air Force Base. I saw and heard the pain and anguish in his wife's face.

My mind wondered to what if that had been me. Who would have met my body? Who loved me that much that they would weep at my coffin?

For several minutes I became selfish. I had only truly loved two men and both had betrayed me.

Then there was Christopher LaSalle. Why I did not know at the time how much I did or could love him, I did know for sure how many times that he had saved my life. I knew that he was a kind, funny, smart and walked with the swagger of the finest cowboy I ever read about or saw on the screen.

At the end of the week I looked back to the day of a reception for the leaders of the Senate Budget Committee. I remember Chris ducking his head when Frank pointedly asked Chris his depth of involvement with me. I recovered sooner from the shocking questions and attempted to divert the conversation but Chris stopped me cold.

"No Sonja. If your friend is bold enough to ask, I'll be bold enough to respond. Look, I flew 1100 miles to be with Percy. I love her. I came out here to persuade her to give me another chance. We almost lost our boss a few months ago. His near death finally made me to both confront how I felt about her and how I believe that I can't live without her. I want to be with her always. I want her to bear my children and share my joys and sorrows.

I'm not quite sure who was more stunned – Frank or me.

The reception lasted for about an hour. Chris and I gave each other awkward glances in the car. Finally I spoke up. "Well, you had a lot to say back there"

"Yeah, I guess so. I caught my own self off guard. It just seemed to come falling out. Why do you think that I am here Sonja? I want to explore what we might have. A year ago you thought that you were in love with me. I had to come to the same realization. Do I love you? Yes. Am I in love with you? Probably so." At that Sonja grabbed my free hand.

We stopped for dinner. The restaurant also had a dance floor. Sonja went up and put money into the jukebox. The third song was one by Patti LaBelle. "Christopher this song says everything that I would/could ever say to you." I listened intently to Patti's words. My thoughts exactly.

I turned to find the wine glasses and a bottle of Sonoma Coast Chardonnay when we came into the condo. "Here" I said as I handed Christopher the wine bottle and then took his other hand with mine as I led him toward my bedroom. The night was a memorable one for the both of us. I can honestly say that I don't remember ever feeling more wanted.

Thursday was the funeral. I told Chris that night as we lay in bed how much his support helped me to get through it. When events like these occur, they can take you to a place that you never want to go. Will I die on a mission? I wonder how I got through this mission alive as you fly back to the States. I made it this time but I have done this and I have done that. It's a difficult, challenging life?

The week went by way too fast. I did my best not to cry as I watched him move down the ramp toward his plane. I sat in my car weeping trying to get myself together so I could drive safely home. Weeping at him going. Weeping that I allowed him to come. Wishing that he would stay. Wondering what was ahead for us. Wondering if I was wise to open my heart this way. Wondering what he really thought and if he was being honest with me about his deep feelings for me.

I managed to get a little food into my stomach and then just crawled into bed and cried myself to sleep. Oh......

Chris

I think I accomplished what I wanted to. Sonja knows how I feel about her. There's not much more that I can say. Having given ourselves to each other was a major mile marker. It was a wonderful week of endearing moments.

At least we have a plan to see each other again. I have no idea when Sonja will disappear. I will just have to accept the distance until she can determine what she wants and where she goes from here.

I was sincerely lost in thought and surprise to find the Captain announcing that we were 30 miles from O'Hara. My connecting flight to 'Nola was just as smooth as the first leg. I had barely gotten unpacked when I got a text from Hannah. So much for a vacation.

Tammy couldn't wait to pump me for information. The best that I could tell her was "we'll see". The ball is in Sonja's court now.

We had come up with a catch phrase that Sonja could say to me to let me know that she was about to go off the grid. The comment was 'don't get trampled in the Mardi Gras parade.'

We talked nearly every night. One Tuesday night Sonja asked about the upcoming Red Dress Run. I answered then out of the blue she said "well at least I won't have to worry about getting trampled in the Mardi Gras parade. "

"Well you just need to go down 7th Avenue" I said. "Or you can always go over to 5th she replied."

Good lord. Five weeks. I hope that my heart can stand it.

"Well, I better let you go Sonja" not knowing how much time she had to pack. "I'll talk to you tomorrow". I hung up wondering when 'tomorrow' will come.

"Chris. LaSalle! Where did you go?" Tammy asked.

"Just thinking" I respond.

"You've been thinking like that a lot lately"

"Just let it go Tammy please." She must have sensed the urgency in my voice

Several weeks later I heard my phone ding late one night in the other room.

"You look tired baby." I say as the screen comes up.

"Just a little." she responds. "I'm going to try to get a week. Do you think that you can do the same?"

The next night we are on the screen at home and are able to confirm the dates and the location. Hannah wanted to give me a hard time until I told her to go look at my leave record. I had only taken leave twice in the past three years. One to take Savannah home and then a few months ago to go to D.C. to see Sonja.

"So where can I meet you" Sonja asks.

"How about the farm? I need to go down there to check up on momma."