yikes there's my emotions

oof ouch

well you're not sick anymore, which means every class i have with you is hell. i know you still look at me. i know.

do i care?

well that's a harder question.

i'm numb. i feel pretty much nothing. i'm just a robot that does schoolwork at this point so that my parents will leave me alone. but when you came back, and i heard your voice again, idk.

i just thought about the stories you would tell me to help me fall asleep. and all the time we spent together. i thought about those late nights we spent talking, telling me how you'd always be there for me.

honestly my mind was racing but i felt nothing emotionally. just kinda disappointed. and i guess i should understand you don't want some crazy bitch in your life. fair enough. and i'm gonna stop hoping that anyone i cared about would come back because it's not worth waiting for people only to get disappointed. yeah, i can still think about people. but i need to calm down.

and at the moment i just don't have the energy to pursue people. like i'm busy and shit. it's getting to a point where i feel like i shouldn't even contact my bestie anymore cuz we both on our own grind. i should just stfu and mind my own business tbh. cuz people are annoying and i'm calming down way too much to even keep up with anyone. i mean like a man would be nice, but do i even have time?

idk man