yikes there's my emotions

i still miss you

i know.

i know i'll never win you back. i know we'll probably never talk again. because you simply don't want to, and i'm tired of fighting for people to stay.

but it still hurts. it hurt when you told me you didn't have feelings anymore, when a month ago you were willing to give me the world. it just doesn't make sense. i miss your voice. i miss the bedtime weed stories. i miss the nights we'd spend talking about how shitty my ex was and how you wanted to help me get back on my feet.

but i can't pin this on you. i can't pretend like this is your fault. after all, the reason you left was because i was treating you the same way my ex treated me.

flighty

weak

angry

fragile

manipulative

no wonder you left. i hurt you. and you were trying to protect yourself. but i sit here conflicted, trying to decide what makes me happy.

being happy is with you.

but i know it could end horribly

and i don't want to get hurt

but if i don't try i'll only keep hurting