boo | e.d

21

21 | girls

song: color by todrick hall
(hint for this chapter: rainbow)

☼

Ethan's POV
[Tuesday morning]

I've been edgy lately. Every single thing, i've been re-thinking in my head.

I try to make sure i am thinking of all the possibilities my actions could end with. It's not like i'm stressed or anything.

Not as stressed as Grayson seems lately.

I feel as if everything that is happening with him is my fault. He has a cold, yes.

But he seems as if he is trying to make sure everything is okay. All the time.

His older brother is broken and he is trying his hardest to lift me up. I see the worry in his eyes and the simple actions he does to cheer me up.

I can't say i won't do anything to fix this.

Because i'm doing everything i can now.

I thought as if nothing was fair on me.

But i didn't even think as to how all of this was effecting everyone else.

I made sure they didn't tell Bailey. Because i was too pussy to stand up for myself.

And my poor younger brother was here worrying about me.

I'm the older brother. I should be making sure he is okay.

When i think about it.

I've been a scared little bitch this whole time.

Not just when everything happened with Bailey. But before all of it happened.

I never fessed up to how i felt towards Riley when i fell strongly for her.

I never told Grayson how hurt i was.

I ruined myself over the fact that my brother had the girl i wanted.

I was a dick and took it all out on other people.

I was a dick to Bailey the first time we met. The first time she talked to me. The first time we moved in together.

I spoke and believed another girl.

I lost trust in Bailey who had already been going through enough.

I never spoke up and told her the truth.

I left.

But now i'm going to fix everything.

I felt as if everything was all about me. But really...

How has everyone else been taking this?

Malia must of been dying to tell Bailey the truth because my pussy ass didn't.

But i've told her.

I thought i fixed everything.

But i haven't.

I need to.

And i will.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

"Gray you should-"

"nah i'm coming to school." He says, bouncing a little as he spoke.

As my eyes focus more onto how he looked. A slight reliving feeling took over me.