Fear of the Thing Itself || DISCONTINUED

Chapter Four: I Promise

After a few minutes, my thoughts were interrupted by a witch in lime-green robes, with what I assumed was the emblem of St Mungo's on her chest. I could faintly recall reading a book about the hospital when I was eight or nine, and, after a couple of seconds of searching my mind for the information I'd learned from it, I realised that she must be a Healer.

"Remus told me that you're awake," she said, smiling at me. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," I said, sounding far more confident than I felt.

I tried to work out if she was going to hurt me or not. At the moment, it wasn't looking like she would, but I remained on my guard just in case.

The Healer went to a cupboard in the corner of the room, and took out a couple of vials of potions. "I need you to drink these for me," she said, handing them to me. Then, when she saw the sceptical look on my face, she added, "They're nothing bad, just a Blood-Replenishing Potion and a Strengthening Solution."

"I — I'd rather have some of my own, if — if you don't mind, ma'am," I said, stumbling over my words a little as I hurried to get them out.

She nodded, looking a little confused, so I grabbed my purse from the bedside table, opened it, then wandlessly and nonverbally accioed both the potions from inside it, plus a few others that I knew would help me. After checking the labels, I drank them all down. The pain in my body numbed almost instantly, and my headache was reduced to a much more manageable intensity.

The Healer returned her potions to the cupboard, then came back over to me. "I'm going to do a couple of checks on you," she said, taking out her wand.

I subconsciously flinched backwards a little, the pain I'd received from my father still fresh in my mind.

"I'm not going to hurt you," she said soothingly, "I just want to make sure it's safe for you to be sitting up like that, and to get a rough idea of when you can leave. Is that alright?"

I stayed silent, keeping my scared eyes on the wand in her hand, not quite trusting her.

"I can wait until Remus gets back, if you'd rather?"

Not letting my guard drop for a second, I nodded slowly.

"Alright, I'll come back in five or ten minutes." She put her wand away, smiled at me again, then left.

Remus and Sirius returned just over five minutes later, and the Healer not long after that.

"Can I do those checks now?" she asked, pulling out her wand again. As with before, I flinched backwards. Remus immediately placed a calming hand on mine.

"She won't hurt you," he said softly.

For some reason, his words reassured me, and I nodded. I still wasn't completely at ease, but I was sure that if she tried to hurt me, Remus would stop her.

The Healer raised her wand, and a peculiar chill swept over my body, making me tense up. Remus must've noticed this, because he squeezed my shaking hand, and, despite his paler than usual face, gave me a reassuring smile.

"Blood level and blood pressure seem okay," the Healer said, and the chill was replaced by a natural warmth again. "Blood sugar level's fairly low, but that's not too much of a concern at the moment; you just need to eat." She waved her wand, and a plate of food appeared on my bedside table.

I looked at it a little sceptically. Although I was achingly hungry, I wasn't sure if the food would be safe to eat — or, indeed, whether I was even allowed it. I looked to Remus, who nodded, passing me the plate.

"It's alright," he said reassuringly. "She won't hurt you. You can eat it."

Cautiously, I took a bite of one of the slices of toast. The sweet taste of it surprised me, though I quickly realised that this was because it had a layer of honey spread on it, rather than something more sinister.

The Healer smiled at me, then said to Remus, "Make sure she eats the rest of it. I'll come back in an hour or two to check on her, but you know where to find me if you need me before then."

Remus nodded, and the Healer turned and left.

After a couple of minutes, Sirius turned back into his human form, grinned at me, and took a slice of pizza from my plate.

"Hey!" I said, in a mock sulky voice, an over-exaggerated pout on my face. "That's mine!"

"Not anymore it isn't," he said, taking a bite.

"Well that's just rude." I put the plate back on my bedside table, out of Sirius' reach, and resumed my pouting as Sirius continued to eat the stolen pizza.

Remus rolled his eyes at both of us, but I could see a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"You two are so childish."

"Well, I am only — uhh—" I frowned a little, trying to think. "Thirteen? Wait, what's the date?"

"The sixth of August," Sirius said.

"Oh, then I'm fourteen."

Remus and Sirius looked at each other, then back at me.

"When was your birthday?" Sirius asked.

"Either yesterday or today," I said, trying to think of which one it was. "Uhh... the sixth sounds familiar..." I stopped when I saw their shocked faces. "What?"

"You — you don't know when your birthday is?" Remus said incredulously.

"I do if I remember that it was the same day my father got his body back," I said, shrugging. "Otherwise, I remember roughly when it is, just not the exact date."

Their shock visibly increased by about ten times, and I frowned in confusion.

"What? It's not like it's important or anything."

"Have you never celebrated your birthday before?" Sirius asked, looking a little sad at the thought, for some reason.

"That depends on what you mean by 'celebrate'," I said, thinking back to the things I'd had to go through on the sixth of August for the last ten or so years of my life.

"What happened on your previous birthdays?" Remus asked softly.

"Torture, mostly — nothing out of the ordinary," I said, a slight frown on my face as I tried to remember. "More so on my seventh birthday, because I'd gone a little bit crazy and stabbed my mother a few days before, so I was still being punished for that. But my sixth birthday—" I paused, blinking back the tears that I could feel forming in my eyes. "My sixth birthday, it was only a few days after Father had killed my sister..."

Remus seemed like he was about to say something, but Sirius sent him a look that clearly said, 'Don't.' The silence hung in the air for a few moments, then I took a deep breath and continued speaking, desperate to move the conversation on from Adrienne's death.

"I think I was unconscious for most of my fifth birthday, but the memories are... fuzzy, if not downright nonexistent," I said. "I have dreams about that birthday sometimes, but none of it makes sense..." I shook my head. "And on my fourth birthday, my father got his body back, made my sister get the Dark Mark, and tortured me when I refused to do the same. So, no, I — I don't suppose I've celebrated my birthday before," I finished, my voice carrying the emotions I knew I wasn't allowed to feel.

Remus and Sirius sat in stunned silence for a few moments, looking at me sadly. I suddenly realised that the tears I'd tried so hard to keep captive were now running down my face, and I wiped them away quickly with my sleeve.

"Ivory, can I hug you?" Remus said eventually. "Is that alright?"

I gave a slight nod, and he leant over and hugged me gently. There was something soothing about it; something that made me relax, even if it was only a little bit.

"It's going to be alright from now on," he said softly. "They're not going to hurt you again." He pulled back from the hug a little, so I could see his face. "I promise."