Outcast Lucy Heartfillia

songs part 2

  I'm sorry mom and dad
I know I've messed up bad
I should've, should've done, should've done better.
I'm sorry mom and dad for all the time
I had to get my life
To get my life together
But I didn't

1993 you gave birth to me
Sweet little baby girl had the world at my feet
Before I could even stand.
Cradled me in your right and your left hand
a precious bundle of un-made plans.
Hopes and dreams of bigger things
a bright future so it seemed
But that light grew a little less bright as
I grew up we began to fight
When I was 13
I was so damn mean
Running away had nothing more to say
Then I hate you
But that's not true now
I just don't
I just don't,
I just don't know how to say

I'm sorry mom and dad
I know I've messed up bad
I should've, should've done, should've done better.
I'm sorry mom and dad for all the time
I had to get my life
To get my life together
But I didn't

You never talk about me to your friends
Because you must be so embarrassed
I dropped out of college without any plans
I moved back home
I couldn't even pay rent.
I was living on your couch
trying to figure it out
cutting myself up
tearing myself down

I'm sorry mom and dad
I know I've messed up bad
I should've, should've done, should've done better.
I'm sorry mom and dad for all the time
I had to get my life
To get my life together
But I didn't

I'm sorry that
I couldn't buy you that house upon that hill
Or take care of all your medical bills
I know I didn't make you proud
I should've been someone by now
But I never figured out how
I'm sorry that
I couldn't buy you that house upon that hill
Or take care of all your medical bills
I know I didn't make you proud
I should've been someone by now
But I never figured out how

I'm sorry mom and dad
I know I've messed up bad
I should've, should've done, should've done better.
I'm sorry mom and dad
For all the time
I had to get my life
To get my life together...

I'm sorry mom and dad
I know I've messed up bad
I should've, should've done, should've done better.
I'm sorry mom and dad
For all the time
I had to get my life
To get my life together
But I didn't

Sincerely, Your Daughter  

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  My friends always tell me I get carried away
Sometimes I spit when I talk cause I have so much to say
They don't seem to hear me but I guess it's ok
It's not their fault my minds working overtime with no pay
They always say the same things and it's starting to get old
That my head can't get sick
It can't catch a cold
I scratch and I pick
My insecurities poke
My fears, my anxiety, a voice that provokes
Take a walk, clear your head, breathe in count to ten
Cause on the first page of life written in red
You'll never make it here if you don't learn how to bend

Don't speak unless you're spoken to, little girl
Someday you will find your place in the world
But ladies don't get dirty
Someday you'll learn to fill the empty space
With empty faith

Everyday feels like a battle and I always get hurt
I was frequently told violence was never the answer
But life doesn't abide by the rules of a child
I don't know how to fight only taught how to surrender
There's a certain kind of darkness that does a reaping
It usually takes you right before you are sleeping
Is it the crack in the door that it finds a way to creep in?
Or the crack in your brain that wants you to drop dead
I don't remember what it's like to see with clear vision
I awake every morning like the dead has arisen
I don't have to think this body of mine is a prison
You don't control me I just gotta find the light switch
But the more that I look the further I get
You're the only thing about me that needs to be fixed
Cause on the first page of life written in fine print
Stop looking for light, live it instead

Don't speak unless you're spoken to, little girl
Someday you will find your place in the world
But ladies don't get dirty
Someday you'll learn to fill the empty space
With empty faith

My mind is a mess but I love it none the less
They tell me to hush but my words are all that's left
So on the last page of life written in gold
Don't waste it always doing what you're told