sad fat: the squeakquel

Arsonist's Lullaby. (Terra and Coco) [Fallout Au]

She was there again. In that same tent. The clock's time stopped, exactly 2:33 in the morning.
And she was staring over his body again. Her father's.
She was only a teenager. And while maybe it wasn't uncommon for murder in the wasteland, that didn't mean this would be taken lightly. Even if had been self defense. Freddie had been important to the Great Khans, despite being an abusive addict.
She clutches the bloody kitchen knife in her hand, watching his body go still on the ground. Watching the life leave him as he weakly clawed at the blanket rug, the one her mother made for him. The wolf on it now completely soaked in his blood.
As soon as he stopped moving, Terra dropped the knife. Watching with wide eyes.
She was just defending herself. He grabbed her wrist. He was the one trying to coax her into slamming that JUNK into her arms.
This couldn't possibly be her fault, right?
Thoughts swarmed her head as she looked down shakily at her hands, warm and sticky with blood. His blood. She took a deep, hiccuping breath. Before kicking him into the corner, immediately grabbing her lighter. Shakily sneaking out and into the back of the tent. Grabbing the gasoline for the motorcycle. Her dad had repaired one. Back when he was actually her father.
She gasped as she shakily filled it halfway, before taking the rest of the container. Turning back and walking into the tent.
Standing over his corpse once more.
"S..Sorry, Pa." She managed to choke out, before dowsing the tent in the gasoline. She walks over to the lantern up on the dresser, knocking it over. It hadn't been lit. But nobody else would know that.
She grabbed whatever belongings she had left. Some with memories she'd never live down. Others for comfort. And some for just pure survival, if she could even survive the weight of this sin.
Then it was time. She took the bag out, and dumped a can of water on her hands. They were still stained, but clean enough. Even though it felt like she'd never get it off, never truly anyways.
Terra turned back towards the tent, watching her father one last time. She knew he had always wanted to be cremated. Maybe this was a win-win for the both of them.
He'd get his wish. She'd be covering her tracks.
She let her thoughts linger a moment, before taking the lighter out of her jacket pocket. Flicking it open and creating the small flame. Watching it shake in the light breeze. Flicker as she moved towards the tent.
"I.. know... I can't fix this..." she whispered into the night, as if her father could hear her. As if her mother could hear her.
As if Ricky was right next to her.
"But- but... for what it's worth... 'm sorry, Pa. I.. I hope ya went to the good place ya liked so much."
She mumbles. Before not hesitating, tossing the flame into the gasoline-soaked tent.
And then it was up in flames, so many flames. Standing there, seeing it? Had been so horrifically beautiful. Terra had been so overwhelmed by the sense of freedom, and yet grief.
And then she'd turned, and seen Ricky, and
Oh god
Oh god he-
"TERRA!"
The soft, but loud voice was in her ear now. Little warm hands shaking her back worriedly, their touch melting Terra almost immediately.
She sat up quickly, gasping for breath as she touched her forehead. It was wet with sweat, her hair sticking to her head like a fever patient's.
"Sorry- Sorry- so sor- Sorry-" She was choking out over and over again, her hands sliding down her forehead to cover her face in shame and guilt. Worry and fear.
The owner of the small, comforting hands touched her shoulder with such gentleness Terra almost started crying harder.
Coco. Sweet, beautiful, loving Coco. Her wife of 5 years now.
"Was it the dream again?" Her wife whispered, gently drawing Terra's hands away from her face. Letting Terra put her hands into Coco's dark blue pixie cut. Winding the slight curls in her fingertips.
Terra just nodded, her chest rising and falling rapidly. Before taking her hands out of her wife's hair, setting them on Coco's waist instead. Tugging the smaller woman into her lap, pulling her closer. Hiding her teary face into the crook of her neck, hiccuping and sputtering as she tries to receive comfort from her lover's touch.
She felt Coco gently rub up and down her scarred back, careful to avoid any fresh wounds. Her fingertips so light and delicate, it made Terra shiver as she slowly calmed down in her baby's arms.
"Sorry." Was all that came out of her, before she went slack in Coco's arms. Letting her little wife gently tuck her back into the bed, and keep Terra's head against her chest.
As terrified and guilty as Terra felt, she couldn't help but smile shakily as she felt herself be pressed against her wife's body, her muscular arms wrapping tightly around her Coco's waist.
She knew she'd fall back asleep soon. She was exhausted from work and stress. But she wasn't afraid to slip into sleep again. She knew Coco would be right here to help her if she had the dream again.
And her sweet, adorable little wife would fight off the nightmares should they come knocking.