"Good job, Maddie," Jeff said. His voice was like a whimper, a whine, nasal and stretched out unpleasantly. His mustache was like a muppet, too bushy for his face. His clothes were like the dad from "Malcolm in the Middle," before he became a meth dealer.
Click. I ticked off another point on my strapped-on counter. It looked like a watch, but instead of measuring time, it measured feelings. It measured me.
We sat on the floor of a dingy, vinyl wood paneled room, nine of us, taking turns expressing our feelings while Jeff evaluated their validity. If you got the simpering "good job," you got a point.
Click. Athena talked about throwing up her dinner on purpose.
Click. Kelly talked about her parents' divorce.
Click. Matty said he wished he was more like his sister.
"I would like to be more like Matty," I said.
"No fishing for points," Jeff chastised me.
But. I. Want. To. Be. More. Like. Matty. I screamed in my head. But I kept my mouth shut.
Matty didn't keep his mouth shut. He ordered what he wanted at restaurants, even when Grandpa gave him dirty looks. He argued with Mom, even though he never got his way. He told me he loved me, even though I never told him. Matty yelled when he was angry, and he made as much noise as he wanted, and he didn't care that Dad would probably hit him again.
But Dad's gone now, moved out. I had to beg her. The one time I opened my mouth and shared my true feelings, it was to beg her, "Mommy, make him go away." I had to beg my mother to stop my father from hitting him. She finally did. But she never let me forget it, as if I did something wrong. As if I were to blame.
And so I returned to the hermit cave in my mind, never showing her how I really felt. Except by accident.
Click. Jessica talked about missing her dead hamster.
"Okay, everyone, great job today. Let's all add one more point for being good listeners."
We gave our totals to Jeff, and he noted them on a chart in the prize cabinet. When you had enough points, you could get candy. Or toys.
I never had enough points.
YOU ARE READING
The Other One {Harry Styles AU}
FanficBook One (complete). Haunted by the suicide of her older brother, Maddie Turner's life is in shambles. Her overbearing mother pushed her into acting when she was a child, and Maddie has spent the last 8 years playing herself in the biggest sitcom in...
