The Other One {Harry Styles AU}

39. Now

I am awakened by Doctor Kline's fingers on my wrist, taking my pulse. "Can you sit up?" My mother is still beside me, running her fingers over my arm. It feels so strange. I nod and shuffle around to sit up. Kline pulls out a contraption. A fucking breathalyzer. "Blow into this." I do. Fuck. "Still over the legal limit. When was the last time you had a drink?"

My voice is scratchy from thirst. Ironic. "Monday night. I'm not sure what time."

She raises her eyebrows in surprise. "How much did you drink?"

"A whole bottle," Jenna says, coming into the room with toast and more fizzy water, which she sets on the table beside me. Then she sits at the foot of my bed, just watching me.

Doctor Kline writes down the blood alcohol content in my chart. "Were you trying to kill yourself?" Fuck. Why would she fucking say that to me? I shake my head and look at my mom. She looks as horrified as I feel. "I need to know your state of mind, Maddie."

Free and independent and utterly fucking alone. "I'm not going to kill myself. I just wanted to forget."

"What happened?" I shake my head. I can't fucking talk about it. "Would you rather talk without your friends in the room?"

"Oh, um, Doctor Kline," I lift my hand toward my mom. "This is my mother, Meredith. Mom, this is my psychiatrist."

"Oh," Kline is surprised to find my mother in my bed. Well, me fucking too. "I'm so glad we finally got a chance to meet."

"Me too. Thank you for everything you've done for my daughter." My mom is fucking crying. Is this shit contagious?

"It's been my pleasure. Maddie is a lovely young woman." Who is sitting right fucking here. I roll my eyes at them. "Maddie," oh you're fucking talking to me again? "What happened?" Doctor Kline pulls my gray armchair closer to the bed.

I eat the toast to delay the conversation. My stomach growls, demanding more. Fuck. It's Tuesday fucking night, and I haven't eaten since dinner Sunday, most of which I threw up.

"What happened to the tv?" She tries a different tack.

I shrug. "I threw my drink, and it fell."

"Why?"

"Gravity."

"Why did you throw your drink, Maddie?" She's so fucking calm. It's annoying.

I mean, isn't it obvious? "I was angry."

"Why?" I shake my head. "At whom?"

Fuck you, Kline. I know what you're doing. "Myself."

"Why?"

"For believing him when he said he loved me," I choke out the last few words. He said it so much. I loved the way his deep voice got so quiet when he said it here in this bed. And how sometimes he said it loud and laughing because I did something stupid or ridiculous. Or the desperate way he said it a few times, like he was afraid. I can't fucking stop crying.

"He does love you," Jenna says. I shake my head at her, pressing my lips together tightly. She might need to leave. "Have you read or heard any of his messages?"

"No." I frown at her, wiping the tears from my face with the backs of my hands. "I smashed my phone. He's a fucking liar anyway."

"What did he lie about?" Kline asks calmly.

Fuck. I tell them. I tell them everything he said at the party and how he said it. Jenna is shaking her head. Like no, I'm wrong. Fuck you.