The Dark Side of Science

Chapter Twenty

(A/N: Well since I have over 1000+ reads I think you all deserve a double update.)

“No.” Josh snapped.

“No what?” Mr Carrigan sharply retorted.

“No way in hell is Jess sitting in that.” Josh countered as he gestured to the metallic chair, supported my wheels.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Mr Carrigan’s face showed clear irritation. His eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth was pulled in a tight line.

“What the fuck is my problem? My problem is I don’t want my girlfriend looking like that pathetic cripple! You know the one who seems to be madly in love with her!” Josh was practically screaming right in Mr Carrigan’s face.

I glanced over at the nurse’s face. Her eyes were wide and her mouth seemed like it was about to hit the floor at any moment.

Mr Carrigan’s face was red. His anger was burning deep inside him. I was expecting to literally knock Josh’s teeth out. But he didn’t. He just stood there his face crimson with rage. He had his fits balled tightly by his sides, the knuckles white form lack of blood flow. Staring Josh straight in the eyes.

I heard a gulp, not sure where it came from.

“Excuse me.” The voice was high-pitched, and full of nerves.

“What do you want.” Josh snapped, momentarily breaking his gaze form Mr Carrigan, I could tell he was beyond furious.

“I think she’s loosing more blood.” The nurse shrieked as she pointed to the bandage that was beginning to be soaked with more blood.

Josh immediately snapped out of his fury and rushed to me.

“Help her! Help me get her out of the car.” He yelled at the nurse and Mr Carrigan.

They both rushed to my aid. Mr Carrigan lifted me under the arms, Josh lifted me by the waist and the nurse grabbed my legs. My head rushed from the movement. Everything became a haze. I could only just vaguely understand what was happening in my surroundings.

“She’s loosing too much blood, get an IV immediately.” I heard the high-pitched nurse command.

I tried to keep my eyes open but I just couldn’t.

“She’s coming in and out of consciousness.”

“Jess! Jess are you awake? Jess stay with me.” Josh practically commanded me.

I couldn’t fight it anymore. I knew I couldn’t

After what seemed like day’s I finally woke back up.

“Jess? Jess you’re awake!” Josh’s face looked drained but he was happy now.

“Yeah I guess I am.” My voice sounded croaky, and came out more of a whisper.

“Even after you lost that much blood you still manage to keep your sense of humor.” Josh said, I was rewarded with one of his dazzling smiles. “I love you so much Jess.”

Shit. Not this again. I honestly didn’t have a clue on how to respond.

“Thanks.” Well that’s one of the shittiest responses to ‘I love you’.

I saw the hurt flash across Josh’s face.

“So Jessica. Are you going to tell me exactly how you got into this fucking bloody mess? Excuse the pun.” Despite his attempt to soften his words with the joke, Josh’s tone was harsh.

I didn’t know whether to just tell Josh the plain truth. Would he be mad at me? When he looks at me, will his gaze be tainted with disgust? Will he treat me like I’m worthless to him? Like I’m beneath him because I decided to harm my own body. To draw my own blood, clearing my head form the sea of twisted emotions. I couldn't help it. I was just so fucking over everything. So angry. Yet so fucking sad at the same time. I didn't know what to do, or how to think.

“I-I…” I stammered, struggling to form the words. I wasn’t sure if it was because the small amount of blood in my system, or I just did not want to tell him.

“Jessica.” Josh was getting irritated; he didn’t often use my full name. His patience was growing more and more thin by the second.

We sat in silence for what seemed like minutes… but in reality was only about ten seconds. The quiet was not at all comfortable, just overly awkward. It was broken by Josh’s voice.

“You have to tell me who hurt you. I will kill them. Have you seen the massive cut on your leg.”

Yes Josh I have seen the cut because I did it to myself. Does that mean you will kill me? Seeing as I hurt myself, I am completely at fault here; I have to tell Josh the truth. I just had to.

“Promise me something please?” I croaked, my voice sounding scratchy.

I genuinely expected him to say something along the lines of ‘Sure, of course anything for you my baby’ but instead all he did was grumble a single word at me.

“Depends.”

I sighed. Taking a big breathe in and then out again.

“Don’t get mad at me.” My voice came out as a nervous squeak. I didn’t want to tell Josh my pathetic little secret. I wanted to keep my sweet and innocent façade alive. It had worked for me so far. Until now. Josh raised his blonde eyebrows at me questionably.

“Jess spit it out.” He pressed.

“You don’t want to know.” I almost jumbled all the words. Before I knew what I was doing, the warm, salty tears began quickly streaming down my freckled cheeks, dripping off my face onto the sterile white bed sheets. I tried wiping them away before Josh noticed my emotional outburst. As I brought my hand to my eye, I discover an IV line was inserted into my vein. As my tears continued rolling silently down my face Josh finally noticed. He quickly made his way over to me holding a box of Kleenex tissues and half a glass of water.

“Jess you need to tell me what’s wrong. I’m not messing around anymore. I need to know who did this to you.” Josh said, his voice full of legitimate concern. It almost brought me out of my teary state. Almost but no quite.

Josh sat on the edge of this uncomfortable hospital bed. He removed all the tear stains form my face and then began to stroke my blood matted hair as he smiled.

This made a tiny smile play on my lips. This tiny but sweet gesture made me realize, I didn’t need to and shouldn’t hide anything from Josh. He saved my life.